On Throwing in the Towel…Or Not

I think of 2011 as my crash and burn year. I lost my job and my momentum. Our house flooded...twice! After several years of go go go. I burned out. It was also a year of amazing adventures and success (just not financial success). I spoke at the Celebrant’s Collective Wisdom Conference and drove to Arizona, I tried my hand at pottery, became serious about blogging, and started taking my photography more seriously.

This has been a year of cognitive dissonance. The highs and lows of 2011 have been a roller coaster and I often felt as if I was leading two distinct lives with no middle ground. I need a change--actually Wookie and I both do.

I’ve started the last two years with resolutions and plans and failed miserably on most counts.

I’m taking a new tact this year and switching to hopes and goals. I feel that the looser frame actually leaves more room to define success and since we are in a bad place financially—and that does make for a lot of uncertainty, maybe we need to be open to an unexpected future.

After all, I never expected to be married, or a Life-Cycle Celebrant®, or a blogger. In fact, the biggest mistakes I’ve made in life have all revolved around giving up hope of something better and feeling resigned to life as it was at that moment.

I firmly believe that it’s best to always act as though what you want is possible—then you pay attention and prepare for that future. Giving up leads to stagnation and when opportunity presents itself, you’re unprepared. I admit I’ve lost sight of this ideal often enough as things have gotten harder and harder for us—but I have nothing to lose in choosing conscious optimism and plenty to lose by giving up.

So here I sit, nervous about the changes that I am sure 2012 is likely to bring, but hopeful that we will land on our feet, find a way to dig our way out of debt, and get back to a place of some security.

With that in mind, here are my personal hopes and goals for 2012:

• I hope Wookie and I find work.
  
  It may seem picky to also hope that we can do work we love, or that I find another job that lets me work from home, but I do hold those hopes as well.
  
  Wookie would love to get a [paying] job as an EMT and has been loading up on advanced courses since he completed his EMT-B. He also volunteers as the training officer for a SCUBA search and rescue squad. Everything he does is focused on teaching others or helping them in some way. For all he gives, I hope this year rewards him with the satisfaction of a steady paycheck.
  
  As for me, if I could work from home, it would leave more time for my Celebrant work—and that would mean more money to throw at our debt. I can do a lot with the time I would not be commuting. (My average commute over the years has been two to three hours a day—that’s a third of a work-day!) I also work better without the distractions of an office environment.
  
  
• My goal is to expand my Celebrancy practice. I started my zazzle shop in hopes of bringing in money for advertising. I will be updating my website as well. Realistically speaking, I will probably never be able to afford to retire outright. But I can be a Celebrant no matter what my age.
  
  
• My goal is also to market myself better for freelance work and full-time work. I’ve gained some new experience this year that can take me in new directions. I also need to remember that the work I was doing is valuable—people need the service I provide. With technology touching every aspect of our lives, people need help guides and instruction manuals. I just need to sell my service better.
  
  
• I hope we can keep our home—but if we can’t, I hope we land somewhere safe and comfortable. As long as we’re together and can take care of the cats, we’ll be fine.
  
  
• My goal is to get us better organized in terms of our home and our finances. I confess that things are a mess but if we work together we can figure it out. I just have to remember that if there are things we have to give up, we will be making room for the things we need and want.
  
  
• I still hope for us to have kids. I’m 41 and I have my fingers crossed that we still have time to make that happen.

• My goal is to take better care of myself and encourage Wookie to do the same. We’ve gotten caught up in our troubles and that makes it hard to focus on eating well and getting exercise. Wookie’s in better shape than I am, but we could both use some tuning up.

Of course, these are all personal goals revolving around my family.  I have wider hopes for the new year as well. So many of the people we love have had their lives touched by loss and illness. I hope for a year of good health and healing. And I know that there are people worse off financially than Wookie and I—I really hope the world gets its act together—that people start to see that focusing on the common good benefits them more in the long run than greed will.  (Okay, that may fall more into the category of dreams, but I can still hope for change.)

So as this year rolls out, I’ll open my heart and my arms in hopes for a better future for all of us. I try to remember that life is an adventure and that rather than throwing in the towel it’s better to always know where your towel is, because it might come in handy.

A Voice for Radio?

Last night began my fourth year of teaching for the Celebrant Institute. The first year, I taught one class in person and one class online. The next two years all of the classes were online. Online classes were typed chat sessions. While I loved having the transcripts to look back at for reference, my hands were always tired after a night of teaching.

This year we’re using Go To Training. The students and I can actually talk to one another and I can show them slides.

I had anticipated it to be very much like an in person class, but without being able to see each other. Instead, it felt like I was hosting a talk radio show. Maybe it was the headset and saying things like, “and now, let’s talk to Jane from Colorado…”

It was nice to associate voices with my students and to hear them actually laugh when they found something funny. I guess that’s where the radio comparison ends, because a radio host can’t hear all the people they are speaking to.

This is going to be an interesting school year.

Reflections on 40

So next week is a big week. Celebrant classes start again, and I turn 41.

It’s been a very busy year.

• I turned 40 and we celebrated with ride in the country, then dinner, followed by helping a girl who was freaking out a bit fix a flat tire.

I took this picture the day I turned 40. It's been all twists and turns since then.

• That weekend, we had a huge party celebrating my and the Wookie’s birthdays.
• I saw my niece earn her black belt.
• I started pottery classes.

©Cristina Kollet 2011

• Wookie Graduated EMT school.

• I saw my Celebrancy practice grow to include Memorials and a rally for abused animals.
• I was investigated by police for bribary—I learned to check the marriage license envelope for my wedding fee before I mail it in.
• I lost my job; becoming unemployed after 15 years of continuous work.
• We found out that Frankie had cancer.

©Cristina Kollet 2011

• I learned to give subcutaneous fluids to a cat.
• I taught the Social Media course I developed for celebrants for the second year.
• I presented at the Celebrant Foundation Collective Wisdom conference and celebrated the 10^th Anniversary of the Celebrant Foundation and Institute.
• I watched my third class of Celebrants graduate.

©Paul Skehan 2011

• We had friends over from Canada for Graduation and I got a tiara.

• I celebrated my fifth year as a certified Life-Cycle Celebrant® by entering into the Master Celebrant course.
• I got henna for the first time.

• We had some SCUBA fun.
• I went to NYC to celebrate the start of Marriage Equality in NY.

• Frankie passed away.
• I attended a social media conference in NYC.
• We had an earthquake, and a hurricane, and our basement flooded, all in about a week.

• I tore my cornea and learned a few weeks later that I should stay away from over the counter eye drops because…
• They might trigger something called Aides Eye—which looks a lot like an aneurism.

• I learned that my EMT husband knows which local hospitals have fully staffed MRIs and the shortest routes to them. (I went to the eye doctor and it turned out not to be an aneurism, but it was good information to have.)
• I drove to Arizona with a friend.

©Cristina Kollet 2011

• While I was gone my house flooded.
• My awesome husband made it so that I could continue on the trip without coming home.
• When I got home I helped Wookie teach his Dive Squad CPR.
• I ran a successful online fundraiser for the Celebrant Institute.

• I learned that I need to improve my math skills before ordering at the all-you-can-eat sushi place again.

• I learned I can’t eat squid ink.

• I took over 6000 pictures.
• I enjoyed another year with my Wookie, my family, and my friends.

©Cristina Kollet 2011

It’s been one hell of a year. 8 days to go.

Here’s hoping 41 is a good year.

The Beginners Guide to Self Promotion

Last weekend I watched the class of 2011 graduate from the Celebrant Foundation & Institute.  106 students and alumni received certificates and began their Life-Cycle Celebrancy practices with specialized training, a wealth of resources and a strong desire to bring their skills and talents to the world.

But how to get started? Many of us are hesitant to talk about the things we’re passionate about. We’re afraid of appearing pushy or that people may not want what we have to offer. Of course we have websites and ads and social media to get the word out, but nothing replaces face-to-face interactions—especially if your business can benefit from word-of-mouth recommendations.

This is true, not just of Celebrancy but many, if not all small businesses. So here are my tips for self-promotion.

1. Get comfortable with the idea that you have something to offer that people want and need.   If you encountered someone with a flat tire and you had a jack in your car would you say “I’m not a mechanic.” Or would you say, “I have a tool you can use to fix your tire.”

Whether you’ve been trained in your field or built up real-life experience—if you can honestly say that you have something to offer, get comfortable saying so.

Start with telling friends and family what you want to do. It will get it out in the open, make it real, and help you develop the words you’ll use when talking to strangers.

2. Talk about it to everyone. “What do you do?” is one of the most common questions people ask to get to know each other.  Don’t fall back on answering with the day job if that’s not where your heart is. Talk about what you really are. “I’m a Life-Cycle Celebrant®/artist/singer.” “I act in our local theatre.”

Remember the power of word-of-mouth. Then next person you speak to may not need you but may recommend you to someone next week or next month.

3. Get business cards and keep them with you at all times. If you don’t feel you’re ready for “business cards” print up calling cards. What you want to do is make your contact information available to people you meet and leave them with a reminder of who you are and what you spoke about.

Everyone gets my business card. I’ve given them to restaurant managers, doctors, nurses, dental hygienists, my mechanic, people on jury duty. I’ve left them on bulletin boards in bagel shops--and gotten clients that way!

Business cards are cheap, portable, and easily replenished. Use them up and order more.

4. Carry and pen and paper with you at all times. Yes, we all have smart phones now but in the time it takes to boot up the right app you could have lost the attention of the person you’re talking to. A small notepad and pen or even just a piece of paper and a golf pencil are indispensable tools. When you give someone your cards, see if you can get the person’s email address in return. That way you can send them more information later and they can view it on their time. (This is why I specify email address rather than phone number. It’s less intrusive. If they want you have their number, they will take the opportunity to give it to you.

I'm Published!

Celebrant Foundation and Institute Association members are contributing weekly articles to Spirituality and Health Magazine's weekly newsletter. I've been helping organize the submission schedule in my role as the Foundation's Head of New Media.

I also had the opportunity to write one myself. You can read it here: Replenishing the Well: Sustenance Rituals to Get You Through the Winter

This was a lot of fun. I look forward to doing more things like this in the future.

Thank a Teacher Today

This weekend is first since last October when I haven't had a class to prep for or homework to grade. This was my second year of teaching for the Celebrant Foundation and Institute. I teach three courses for the Institute:

• Fundamentals
• Ceremonies for Families and Children
• Weddings and Other Ceremonies for Couples

This year was extra busy. I taught three sections of Fundamentals. Then, in the second half of the class year, I  earned my certificate in Funerals and Other Ceremonies for Healing while teaching a section each of Families and Weddings.  

I thought that was as busy as things could get. Then I was given the opportunity to create and teach a course I had proposed to the Institute, an introduction to social media for Life-Cycle Celebrants®.  Let me tell you, it was one of the most challenging things I've ever done.

The other courses I've taught came with full curricula, all of the class materials prepared and ready.

My course was three, one and half hour sessions and I created the course myself from scratch. I taught three topics, one on each night, in a webinar format. I answered questions, but there was no homework to grade. The amount of time I put in to each course in creating and prep-word was a minimum of 10 hours.

My point?

I've always wanted to teach. And I am thrilled that I get to teach subjects that I love. Growing up, I always pictured myself as a high-school English teacher and I have many friends today who are educators. But when I looked into becoming a teacher a few years ago (I went as far as taking the PRAXIS exam) I realized that I just couldn't afford to make the change.  The pay cut I'd have to take as a teacher would my already struggling family too deep in the red.

From what I see in the news and hear from my friends it's getting harder and harder to be a teacher.  Salary cuts, layoffs, and an education system that makes teachers spend more time training kids to pass standardized test than learn to think critically aren't helping. It boggles my mind that teachers are so under appreciated. When I was a kid I couldn't understand how it was that baseball players made more than teachers. Now that I have a practical understanding of the investment of time and dedication--OUTSIDE the classroom, it absolutely astounds me.

So this is to all my teacher friends--thank you.

And to everyone--vote for people and programs to support education, ask your kids' teachers what you can do to help. It doesn't even matter if you don't have kids. We all benefit when we educate the next generation.

Gifts from my first Celebrant students.   

Every teacher should be so honored.

Updating this post to add a video I stumbled upon today.

Taylor Mali: What teachers make | Video on TED.com