At Midnight...

Paul and I were watching At Midnight. They were playing #FML or #YOLO.

Paul: What's YOLO?

Me: You Only Live Once. I'm not sure what FML means.

Paul: Fuck My Life... You see, between the two of us, we're cool.

(Originally posted on March 13, 2014 on Lifeat30Feet.blogspot.com.)

A New Year, A New Way

My first New Years Eve with Wookie was a cold night in 2003,standing on the New Jersey side of the Hudson River with a couple of cups of hot chocolate. The skies over the Hudson were quiet. And at midnight when the ball dropped in Times Square, I was shocked to find that I could hear the cheers of the city erupt with the new year.

It was magical and as fireworks lit the sky, I told Wookie I loved him too. (He'd been saying it since our first date, a week before on Christmas.)

This became our New Years Eve ritual for our first eight years together. Standing near that spot, on some very cold nights, waiting for the ball to drop, reflecting on our year and looking toward the future.

Over the years it became harder to hear the cheers. The night sky has become a buzz with low-flying helicopters. The skyline has changed. And our reflections have changed as well. We've had a few rough years and our conversations, as we've looked out over the black waters of the Hudson have turned to tales of survival.

We watched the fireworks saying "screw you Twenty-(Ten/ Eleven)! We survived!"  We faced the new year battle-scarred, exhausted, and more uncertain that hopeful.

Twenty-twelve was a hard year as well. We had our high points and triumphs, but we are not anywhere near where we'd like to be,

As much as I loved that we had created a holiday tradition for ourselves, I felt that to welcome the new year in the same way would be to invite more of the same. It was time for a change.

Yesterday was an amazing day.

It started with lunch with my college roommate Aimee. We had not seen each other since graduation—twenty years ago. Looking across the table at the diner was like looking back in time, except I had Wookie sitting next to me.

Aimee and I picked up where left off. Twenty years wiser, and with families and careers of our own. Two adults, but certainly not "grown-ups"—which I am certain is something we swore never to become. So one college goal well met!

After a very fun lunch and promises to see Aimee again soon, Wookie and I set off for our next stop—my last wedding of 2012.

Patricia and Larry had been together for 45 years and were finally tying the knot in an intimate ceremony at the Grounds for Sculpture in Hamilton, NJ at The Rat's restaurant. As we gathered and got ready, I heard them say that we were actually at the site of their first date. That just made the celebration more magical.

It's hard to beat a wedding where the groom breaks out into a dance after he kisses his bride. That kind of joy is why I love being a Life-Cycle Celebrant. Wookie was by my side, and sharing that moment made it all the more special for me.

We had one more stop for the night. Instead of our usual celebration alone, Wookie and I would celebrate with friends. We continued our southerly trek through New Jersey to meet friends Rich and Debbie.

I'd never been to Atlantic City, though I'd flown over it many times. Debbie and Rich had a fabulous night planned for us. We started with a buffet at one of the casinos. Wookie and I often have very different food preferences and this place had us both very happy.

Rich has his own buffet rules. I think he summed it up as "all protein, no salad, no veggies." But I couldn't resist laying some gorgeous baby carrots (real ones with a little bit of the tops still on) and a few fingerling potatoes next to the lovely lobster I chose for my first course. When I met Wookie back at the table, he had chosen some beef medallions, that were tender enough to cut with butter knife.

Sitting across from Debbie and Rich, we had a great time. Our troubles forgotten for the night. I worked my way through two lobsters and a small bowl of duck soup (which I highly recommend!) before moving to the amazing deserts. There was chocolate mousse served in the delicate petals of a chocolate tulip—so thin that the heat of my hand holding the plate started the chocolate melting. But I really loved the tiny chocolate cup-cake with icing that I think was infused with rose essence.

I had such a good time, I didn't even stop to take pictures!

As a food coma descended across the table, we made our move for the boardwalk. Wookie and I haven't been on many double dates. I loved walking down the boardwalk, two couples, chatting and people watching.

Rich promised us good people watching and AC certainly delivers! The four of us were fairly well bundled up. I wore several layers against the winter chill, but everywhere were girls in dresses that covered about as much as my bathing suit—no coats, not even a scarf. It might have been an old fogy moment for me, but I can't remember being so impervious to cold when I was young. Though someone in our group theorized that the mass quantities of alcohol in their blood might be acting as anti-freeze.

Midnight came—celebrated prematurely by some people around us and a little late by others. At Wookie's request, we met the new year outside, looking this time out toward the dark waters of the Atlantic. We compared cell phones with Rich and Debbie. When both phones agreed it was midnight, we wished each other a happy new year!

I kissed my Wookie and as he wrapped his arms around me, I greeted the new year with hope.

This morning I learned of an African proverb, "If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."

Wookie and I will go far, accompanied by good friends.

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope your 2013 is full of good friends, good health, joy, prosperity, and love.

My Heroes of Hurricane Sandy

I am using my blog this week to give a HUGE thank you to everyone who worked so hard to keep people safe during Hurricane Sandy and those who are working tirelessly to put our little corner of the world back in order.

Dearest to my heart are the members of the BTUSAR Squad 86, of which my husband is the training officer and of which I have recently become a member. While I was holding down the fort at home, the men and women of the Squad were out in the winds and rising flood waters helping people escape to safety. 

I'll let the press release bellow tell the rest. I am just so proud of all of them.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact:

Richard Zeller, Assistant Chief

Berkeley Township Underwater Search and Rescue (BTUSAR) Squad 86

RPZ322@aol.com

609-661-8207

www.BTUSAR.com

Local Volunteer Dive Squad Saves over 100 People from Hurricane Sandy

Volunteer Members of BTUSAR Risked their Lives While Their Own Homes Were Being Damaged

BERKELEY TOWNSHIP, NJ

NOVEMBER 3, 2012

The first call came in about 9AM Monday morning (October 29, 2012) as winds from the leading edge of the storm system began pushing tidal waters inland, past the barrier islands and toward Berkeley Township and other Jersey Shore communities.

For the next 52 hours, as Hurricane Sandy, approached, made landfall, and passed overhead, bringing with it record tides and floodwaters that reached up to two miles inland, the members of the all volunteer Berkeley Township Under Water Search and Rescue (BTUSAR) Squad 86 worked tirelessly to rescue local residents.

Where local police and fire vehicles were unable to traverse the deepening waters and strong tidal surge, BTUSAR members came with boats and, wearing wetsuits, even waded through the chest-deep waters. They guided, carried, and ferried local residents from their flooding homes.

"We had four teams working on rotation plus our command station." Says Richard Zeller, BTUSAR Assistant Chief. "At last count, we rescued over hundred residents."

And that's not all. BTUSAR's Training Officer, Paul Skehan notes, that BTUSAR's squad house also ended up serving as a shelter for those rescued from the storm. Says Skehan, "Our team returned from a run to find a police lieutenant at the squad house with his laptop. A tree had fallen on the generators of the dispatch station and shelters were full. From that point on, the victims stayed with us until they could be bused to safety. At one point I came back from a call to find every available space filled with people sleeping or getting warm."

A tree damaged by Hurricane Sandy's winds lies beside the BTUSAR Squad house that sheltered victims of Hurricane Sandy's floodwaters Monday night.

It's worth mentioning that Sunday night, when BTUSAR went on call gathering at the Squad House to prepare vehicles and equipment they did not expect to be activated until after Hurricane Sandy had passed. Public announcements by Governor Christie as well as communications from local officials had been that first responders would not be called to rescue those who had ignored the mandatory evacuation orders, until the storm had passed.

But in the hours after that first call Monday morning, the BTUSAR team worked tirelessly and selflessly to rescue those in Sandy's path—even as their own homes were threatened.

Says Zeller, "During this storm I've seen the best humanity has to offer and some of the worst. I want to commend our officers and crew for putting themselves on the line and making the sacrifices they did to make sure that others were safe.

When asked about finding that his own home had been demolished by a falling tree Monday night when he was on duty, Zeller responded, "I don't care. My kids, family , and friends are all safe. We helped hundreds of families and that is what matters."

BTUSAR is an all volunteer organization. They meet twice a week for training sessions covering everything from first aid to under water search and recovery. For the last two years, they have also served as the safety team at speedboat races for the Jersey Outlaws racing association.

In the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, BTUSAR, while standing down, is still serving the community. Yesterday, Zeller and other members of the squad raised a boat that had sunk in a lagoon with 150 gallons of fuel on board. The six-hour operation not only saved the boat, but also prevented the environmental damage that would have resulted from spilled fuel. Today, and in the days to come, BTUSAR members are making themselves available for body recovery efforts.

BTUSAR Squad 86 has been serving the residents of Berkeley Township and surrounding areas since 1979. They are an all volunteer unit of trained underwater rescue and recovery divers with EMTs and commercial divers on staff. Their mission is any and all marine rescue emergency response above or below the water line and to respond to mutual aid requests in any other emergency within the realm of the unit's training.

For more information about BTUSAR contact Assistant Chief Richard Zeller at RPZ322@aol.com or by phone at 609-661-8207.

Bouncing Back

It's been a very rough few weeks here. It began with our Biggles passing away. We had been hoping for more time with him and his presence is so sorely missed. I still have not been able to write about it, though I will eventually post a tribute to him, like I did for Frankie.

A week to the day later, we found out that someone had cloned one of our bank cards and drained one of our checking accounts. And then, because we weren't having enough fun, a week and a few days after that, I lost my job.

Losing my job came as a complete shock. I was in the middle of several ongoing projects. Everyone was happy with my work—and said so. To the best of my knowledge, my contract was going to be renewed and paperwork was underway.

It was the Tuesday following Labor Day. I was in up to my ears and having a very productive day when the phone rang. It was the consulting agency that signed my checks and my rep with the agency said, "we've just received a very strange email from the client. Today is your last day."

I'm in my forties. I've had my fair share of jobs. I've never lost a job like that. No warning. No explanation. It was three-thirty in the afternoon and in less than two hours, I was going to be unemployed.

To say I was in shock doesn't even begin to describe what I was feeling. I had no idea what we were going to do. I didn't even have a final week's worth of pay to look forward to, just my earnings for that Tuesday, minus the usual taxes and the cost of health insurance for two. (It didn't amount to much.)

It angered me to be dismissed with so little care—to know that my work could be deemed unnecessary and unwanted by someone I'd never met. I'm not surprised though. It's the way companies operate these days the people who do the work don't matter. (Job-providers my ass!)

Wookie and I thought this job was a new beginning for us. We were hoping to finally get climbing out of the morass of debt that my little family has been trapped in. It's amazing how quickly that hope was extinguished.

After the initial shock started to wear off I had another battle to fight. I could feel Depression looming. Suddenly, for the first time in many years, I was hitting the old lows that dominated my twenties. It wasn't just the emotional lows—being sad is a perfectly justifiable reaction to getting fired. Suddenly, I was saddled with the physical side of Depression. The aches and heaviness I had not felt in years.

I fought Depression in college and throughout my twenties. I know Depression lies. But it this time I had something tangible pushing me into the darkness. It did not help that when I applied for unemployment, I had to watch a video about resources "to help me find a job and and keep it." Insult added to injury because I had done nothing to earn my dismissal.

The ache of depression pushed my shoulders down and made my joints hurt. I steeled myself for battle. There was too much to do and I could not afford to be in that pit again. I had obligations to meet. While the day-job was over, I still had other work to do and more than that, I had Wookie.

In my darkest moments, Wookie was there. He brought me roses and told me how much he loves me and needs me. Wookie reminded me of the difference I make—Wookie, who has also been struggling to find work, but still gives back. He trains a search and rescue squad to help others in times of crisis and has never hesitated to help someone else in need. If giving back could pay the bills and keep a roof over our heads, we'd be set.—Wookie reminded me of the lives I touch as a Celebrant and teacher. Loss of the day-job had not changed that.

The Social Media course I teach my fellow Celebrants every summer was due to start that Thursday night. I had to pull myself together. I also had several weddings coming up that needed to be revised, written or officiated. My other professional life was still intact and this work—while it usually has to take the back-burner to the higher-pay and health insurance of the day job—was important.

The first session of my social media class was just one hour, but I felt immeasurably better afterwards. The heaviness and pains of Depression had faded. Was I still sad? Sure. Was I still afraid of what the future would bring? Absolutely! But I was reminded that I still had work with a purpose.

People tie so much of their identities to work. Take that away and you can hurt someone on more than a financial level. I think there are two kinds of work. The kind you do for the paycheck and the kind you do to make a contribution. If you're lucky, you get to do both at once. Sadly, I think many people don't ever look past the paycheck. Maybe they don't think they can.

My day job as a technical writer was a paycheck job. I enjoyed the people I worked with. I enjoyed the challenge and always worked to exceed expectations. I even enjoyed the products I was working on. But at the end of the day, I don't believe lives were touched or improved by what I worked on for 40-hours a week. When I walked away at the end of the day, I had money but little else. The same can be said for most of the 9-5 jobs I've had.

I believe my work as a Life-Cycle Celebrant® makes the world a better place. It glorifies Love. It honors the individuals, couples, and families I serve. I tell their stories, because they are important enough to be heard. I respect and honor their wishes and help I them celebrate in ways that are unique, because each person's experience of life is unique.

When I walk away after a ceremony, I feel satisfied. I know I've made a difference. This may sound like just so much fluff, but I've been the client and I know how it touched my life to be heard and have my wishes honored. I've also had the honor of hearing from clients and their friends and family about what their ceremonies meant to them.

When I teach my fellow Celebrants, I know more lives will be touched by what they carry forward. It all ripples out like rings from a stone tossed in the water.

So here I am looking for a new day job and I know that there may come another day when an employer decides that my contribution is unimportant and lets me go.  Luckily for me, I know that my work as a Celebrant is important and always will be.

I'm never going to get rich as a Celebrant, though my hope remains to eventually make a full-time career of it. But for now, as some parts of our world come crashing in on us, I know that no matter where Wookie and I end up, we will always have each other and I will always have Celebrancy as away to contribute to the world. What I get back from Wookie and Celebrancy is a wealth that can't be measured.

Pon Farr: Why I Love Being Married to a Geek

Conversation with my husband last night while watching Star Trek (2009)...

Me: So by changing the timeline, those Romulans have unleashed a new, more emotional, and more vengeful Spock on the universe.

Paul: Should make Pon Farr interesting.

Conversations With Wookie

2 minutes ago...

Me: Studied Shakespear for four years and I still can't spell Renaissance

Wookie: If you wanted to spell Renaissance, you should have studied history!

Renaissance Wedding Revisted

    

Cupboard Love

The Wookie and I have been very busy this week so our Valentine's Day activities have been stretched out over the course of several days.

Here is Wookie's latest expression of love. He was down with the dive squad near a deli that makes a sandwich I love so he brought me one last night.

It has horseradish cheese and dressing! I can feel the last vestiges of my most recent cold running in fear of its spiciness.

This Marriage Brought to You by a Fortune Cookie

For the last couple of weeks I have been telling you the story of how Wookie and I found each other and started our life together. Today is the anniversary of our proposal.

Wookie and I had been together for 17 days. And by together, I mean constantly. We took short breaks to go to our respective jobs. On weekends I went to the dive shop with Wookie. As far as we were concerned, we were still on our first date.

In our first week together, we had already established that we loved each other. Wookie said it first. I said it a week later. Life was good. We had settled into a weird kind of cohabitation that involved both our homes as we each had cats to feed.

After about two weeks together, I would occasionally catch Wookie muttering something.  When I asked what he said, he would say, “noting” or mutter something about “too soon.”

I had some fortune cookies stashed away,
but Wookie ate them before I could take a picture.

I let it pass. I was having too good a time.

January 11, found us back in the Manhattan dive shop where he worked. It was quiet day—not a customer to be seen. We ordered Chinese food for dinner. I don’t remember how I entertained myself that afternoon, I remember Wookie was reading a book and muttering. 

“We should get married!” I said. But Wookie was too busy muttering to himself to hear me. 

I went to pick up our dinner.

Dinner was a picnic, right out of the containers, with chopsticks and plastic forks, eating over the glass counter by the register. I reached into the bag our dinner had come in looking for the fortune cookies—there was only one. I gave it to Wookie.

The dive shop has long since closed, but if we were to find our way back, I could tell you exactly where he stood. I watched him crack open that cookie and read the fortune. Something went through his whole body—like a sigh but with more resolve.

“Can you come here?” he asked.

I came around the counter and he took my hands, sighing again.  This time he asked, “So, would you like to marry me, please?”

I know I said yes. I know I jumped up and down like a jackrabbit on speed. Then I said, “Are you kidding?” Actually, I asked several times.

He wasn’t kidding.

For weeks—almost as long has we’d been together—he’d been wanting to propose. All those mutterings of “too soon” were about asking me to marry him. Considering how I reacted to his first I love yous, I couldn’t blame him.

But what had changed?

The fortune cookie was the clincher.

ANY DECISION YOU MAKE TODAY WILL BE A GOOD ONE

I’d like to say it was a romantic evening after that. But the fortune cookie wasn’t the only surprise of the evening. That night we both had food poisoning. 

Still, nothing confirms true love like how your fiance reacts when you're doubled over with your body trying to turn itself inside out. We took good care of each other that night—and ever since.

My New Years Story

Last week, I told you how Wookie and I met eight years ago on Christmas after about a week of emailing through Match.com. I mentioned that he told me that he loved me on that first date.

What I didn’t tell you is that three days later I yelled at him because he kept saying it and I thought it was a little creepy.

We’d been together almost constantly since we met—taking breaks only to go to work. As I said last week, I was not one to believe in love at first site. I was not used to someone being as attentive as Wookie was towards me. It all seemed too good to be true and, though I was happy, I was also waiting for the other shoe to drop.

For New Years Eve we decided to go out to the movies. We both love Steve Martin so we went to see Cheaper by the Dozen. That's when everything changed for me. Sitting in the dark, watching Wookie's face as he laughed, I knew...he was everthing he appeared to be. And I loved him too.

I LOVE how this man laughs!

Later that night, we stood huddled on the Jersey side of the Hudson River counting down to midnight. As the new year rolled in we could actually hear the cheers erupt from the crowd gathered in times square.

"I love you too." I told him.

We've welcomed every new year since, together.

Happy New Year everyone!

My Christmas Story

Eight years ago today, I met my Wookie.

About a week earlier, he had contacted me through Match.com--just when I had become disillusioned with it and was going to quit. We exchanged emails and pictures and stories of the civilizations that were evolving in our refrigerators. We theorized as to when they might develop nuclear technology and the possible consequences. My friend called every SCUBA shop in Manhattan till she found a guy with an Irish accent--she said he sounded cute. I was intrigued.

On Christmas Eve, he called me. I was driving home from work and our conversation lasted till I pulled up to my apartment. The whole time I was thinking, "Ask me what I'm doing tomorrow!" and "Ask me out!" Had he not gotten around to it, I probably would have asked him, but he did.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" He finally asked. I smiled. I had been rehearsing my answer in my head for miles. I detailed my plans--go to my sister's early in the morning for the Festival of Greed--basically, exchanging gifts and watching my baby niece open her presents. After that, I had no plans at all, as my family was heading in differing directions for the afternoon.

He asked me if I wanted to have dinner and I said yes.

Christmas morning flew by and soon I was on my way to meet him. However, no quest is without its obstacles. I followed his directions into town, only to find my way barred by a fire that had closed off my intended route. I called him to say I was having trouble getting there and he talked me through the maze of one-way streets to get me around the fire and to his house.

When I pulled up, he was standing outside, phone still in hand. I jumped out of the car and introduced myself and gave him a big hug. You can tell a lot about a person in the course of a hug and his was wonderful. To this day, it is one of my favorite things.

We went inside and I met his cats, Biggles and Rosie. I gave him a book, only to find out he already had it. I remember chatting for a while, then heading to a local Chinese buffet, because the restaurant he had planned to take me to was blocked by the fire.

That night he told me he loved me.

I don't think I believed in love at first site at the time, but here I am, 8 years later--and this is what I celebrate at Christmas, because back then, at 34, I didn't really believe I'd ever find anyone to share my life with. I had almost given up.

And that is the lesson that keeps me going today. To remember never to give up, because the best things happen quite unexpectedly--especially when I stay open to the possibilities. One day you think you'll wind up the crazy cat lady living in your sister's attic. The next day a handsome Irishman tells you he loves you--and it turns out to be true!

I'm still a crazy cat lady, mind you--but now I have a Wookie by my side.

So in this season when we celebrate light returning to the world--whether it's a divine light, the light of a miracle, or simply the lengthening of days--remember to keep open to the possibilities. You never know, the one thing you've wished for may just be waiting for you around the next bend.

Happy Holidays everyone. Thanks for reading.

The Funny Thing Is...

It's the end of another very hard year and I've been feeling rather down. There is a lot of uncertainty ahead. We're still out of work. I could list the problems that result from that, but that is fodder for another post.

Wookie always reminds me that it could be worse. His ability to keep his eye on the positive amazes me. He was the inspiration behind my lastest pieces at ceramics class. 

I carved words into the bowls to remind me of the good things in life. The things we have and the things we need make us happy and make life worth living. 

The funny thing is that it never occured to me to list money among those words.

Reflections on 40

So next week is a big week. Celebrant classes start again, and I turn 41.

It’s been a very busy year.

• I turned 40 and we celebrated with ride in the country, then dinner, followed by helping a girl who was freaking out a bit fix a flat tire.

I took this picture the day I turned 40. It's been all twists and turns since then.

• That weekend, we had a huge party celebrating my and the Wookie’s birthdays.
• I saw my niece earn her black belt.
• I started pottery classes.

©Cristina Kollet 2011

• Wookie Graduated EMT school.

• I saw my Celebrancy practice grow to include Memorials and a rally for abused animals.
• I was investigated by police for bribary—I learned to check the marriage license envelope for my wedding fee before I mail it in.
• I lost my job; becoming unemployed after 15 years of continuous work.
• We found out that Frankie had cancer.

©Cristina Kollet 2011

• I learned to give subcutaneous fluids to a cat.
• I taught the Social Media course I developed for celebrants for the second year.
• I presented at the Celebrant Foundation Collective Wisdom conference and celebrated the 10^th Anniversary of the Celebrant Foundation and Institute.
• I watched my third class of Celebrants graduate.

©Paul Skehan 2011

• We had friends over from Canada for Graduation and I got a tiara.

• I celebrated my fifth year as a certified Life-Cycle Celebrant® by entering into the Master Celebrant course.
• I got henna for the first time.

• We had some SCUBA fun.
• I went to NYC to celebrate the start of Marriage Equality in NY.

• Frankie passed away.
• I attended a social media conference in NYC.
• We had an earthquake, and a hurricane, and our basement flooded, all in about a week.

• I tore my cornea and learned a few weeks later that I should stay away from over the counter eye drops because…
• They might trigger something called Aides Eye—which looks a lot like an aneurism.

• I learned that my EMT husband knows which local hospitals have fully staffed MRIs and the shortest routes to them. (I went to the eye doctor and it turned out not to be an aneurism, but it was good information to have.)
• I drove to Arizona with a friend.

©Cristina Kollet 2011

• While I was gone my house flooded.
• My awesome husband made it so that I could continue on the trip without coming home.
• When I got home I helped Wookie teach his Dive Squad CPR.
• I ran a successful online fundraiser for the Celebrant Institute.

• I learned that I need to improve my math skills before ordering at the all-you-can-eat sushi place again.

• I learned I can’t eat squid ink.

• I took over 6000 pictures.
• I enjoyed another year with my Wookie, my family, and my friends.

©Cristina Kollet 2011

It’s been one hell of a year. 8 days to go.

Here’s hoping 41 is a good year.

80s Pupil

So, today I was packing for my road trip. Have I mentioned how much packing for a trip stresses me out? It’s easier to move entirely. That way I have everything I need with me. So of course, on the day when I am supposed to finish packing and prep for a wedding, there is unscheduled drama.

Some Background

The eye in question.
(Taken a few weeks ago.)

I’ve been having issues with my right eye. It started with a tiny tare of the cornea, which was treated and healed quick enough. After that, it was a plugged up tear duct. (Did you know that’s actually where tears drain to and not where they come from? I didn’t.)

So that’s been getting better. Only a little irritation now and again, which is why I put a few drops of Visine in my eye this morning. I thought maybe I had a cat hair or something in my eye and I wanted to flush it out.

The Drama

So I’ve been staring at my eye every time I pass a mirror for 2 months through all these little problems. I had looked several times this morning with nothing much to notice till around 1:30.

My right pupil was dilated and the left was…not. I said to Paul, “I have a problem!”

I’m trained in first aid. I’ve had a few weeks of EMT training—I didn’t finish but I know enough to be worried when I see something like this.

I called the Eye Doctor to see if I should go to them or the ER. They said I could come in. Wookie ran a quick neurological exam before we got into the car.

My EMT Wookie is my hero. He was amazingly calm gathering up my eye drops and getting the car—all the while deciding which hospital I should go to if needed, who has a fully staffed MRI, etc.

It's good to have your own EMT on hand.
Here he is at his graduation.

On the way, I emailed my Saturday wedding ceremony to two of my colleagues with a note that I might have an “emergency” and they would be contacted if needed.  I was worried.

At the eye doctor, Wookie sat next to me and distracted me while I waited. He made me laugh and let me whine a little about how this was not what I wanted just before my trip.

They called me in. The tech asked about eye drops and said that sometimes eye drops have weird effects.  She did an exam and then left to get the doctor.

Wookie and I waited. Maybe feeling a little better, but not saying what we were worried about.

Finally the doctor came in and looked me over again. He said there were three possibilities. Wookie may remember the first two. (It’s good to have someone with you at the doctor’s office—someone to remember the things your own emotions block out.)

He said it wasn’t the first thing—I remember him saying ganglia, and nerves and palsy. (I love the word ganglia! It sounds fun, stringy and not at all scary.)

He said it wasn’t the second thing, an aneurism—The word my mind had been searching for when I saw my eye…the word Wookie had been biting his tongue on while he made contingency plans, plotted routes to the hospital in his mind and probably rehearsed what he’d says when he brought me in.

The doctor said it was most likely 80s Pupil.

That’s what I heard, at least. He explained the test for it—diluted drops of some stuff that would not affect my pupil if the dilation were caused by options one or two.

He put the drops in my eye and asked if I had any questions before he stepped out. I asked him to spell 80s so I could Google it. He said Adies. Here is what I found out.

When the doctor came back, he said I shouldn’t go nuts with Google. Wookie and I both laughed and said it was too late. (I have to wonder if it’s a physician’s nightmare, knowing that your patients can look up the medical terms they spout out in the time it takes them to stick their head out of the door and order up a test.)

So here I am, with a weird neurological thing that may occasionally make me look like I have a head injury—but is really nothing to worry about. Just what I needed. Though I am grateful that it was not any of the scarier alternatives.

©Cristina Kollet 2011

Wookie and I joked around, but I know both of us were worried. This is all just one more reason I need a break.

Excuses, Excuses

So I’m finally packed. I had a bunch of other errands to run today, which I will squeeze in tomorrow.

I was supposed to send an email out today and Wookie reminded me about it. I said it had totally slipped my mind and this was his response.

“Oh, the whole I may have had an aneurism excuse. Biggles used that last week.”

In Short, My Husband Rocks!

Originally this was a much longer post, but I think that was way more detail than anyone would be interested in so I will get to the important parts. 

Saturday was my first “double”—two ceremonies in one day, in two different locations, the first involving my PA system. It was going to be a lot of running around and coordinating.

Despite having a migraine the night before and waking up with a headache, Wookie was there. He was great, as usual at the first ceremony—setting up the PA, coordinating with the DJ use of the limited number of electrical outlets at the outdoor location, and snapping pictures, then packing up the PA while I hunted down the necessary parties to get the paperwork signed.

It was a very busy morning and his work should have been done when we arrived at the second ceremony. I wasn’t supplying the PA for that one. He should have been able to hang out, till I was done with nothing to do but snap a few pictures of the ceremony. Instead, when there was a problem with the DJ’s PA and no mic for me, it was Wookie to the rescue. In about 15 minutes he had the PA up and tested and mics for me and the two singers.

When my mic failed, I only had to speak a few lines without it. I just stuck my hand behind me and he was there, sneaking in with a new mic. It was all but seamless. AND he got pictures of the ceremony.

Finally, because the ceremony started very late, he packed up the PA in the dark while I, again, tended to the legalities—marriage license, etc.

There was a lot going on with that second wedding. People were late due to traffic, we were losing the light, tension was high. But thanks to Wookie, the couple was able to have a ceremony their guests could hear. I didn’t have to worry about anything, the moment I said there was a problem, he jumped in to fix it—leaving me to deal with other issues like discussing backup plans and making sure everyone was ready for their part in the ceremony.

He really saved the day, not just for me, but more importantly for my clients and their guests. I could not ask for a better partner. I’m the Celebrant, but Inclusive Ceremonies wouldn’t be what it is without my Wookie. 

The Aqua Wookie in his native environment. His amphibious nature makes the Aqua Wookie a superb SCUBA Instructor as well as sound engineer, roadie, assistant, sherpa, and photographer for weddings and other ceremonies.
I would not be doing the work I love if not for him.

52 Weeks of Photos, Week 1 Summer/Winter

Last year I participated in a photo challenge--52 Weeks of Photos on AltDotLife. At the beginning of the 52 weeks, a list of topics (one for each week) was posted. Each week participants would submit their photos and then vote on their favorites. I even won a few times.


Well, it's starting up again--this time without the voting. Last time I didn't manage to participate every week. This time, it's my goal to submit a photo for every week.


This week's topic is Summer/Winter (depending on the participant's hemisphere). I've been carrying cameras with me all week. (Okay that's not unusual.)

Here are the photos I considered for submission this week:

This one is in NYC just outside Port Authority Bus Terminal. I had to go into the city to meet with clients and it was a lovely day, but really this was my "just in case I don't get a chance to take any pictures" picture.

©Cristina Kollet 2011

Paul and I were invited to our niece's pool party. Paul is an AquaWookie by nature and so I couldn't pass up these rare photos of him in his native environment.

©Cristina Kollet 2011

©Cristina Kollet 2011

©Cristina Kollet 2011

©Cristina Kollet 2011

I love this picture of birds taking off next to the pool. But I think it's too abstract for anyone who wasn't there.

©Cristina Kollet 2011

 Nothing says Summer like ice cream! (But the background doesn't make this a great picture.)

©Cristina Kollet 2011

This shot was good in theory but the composition and focus don't come close to what was in my head.

©Cristina Kollet 2011

This is my new favorite picture of the two of us. It was one of those rare times when I managed to hold the camera just right. My friend Julia is a master of the arm-extended self portrait. I usually get the top of our heads or maybe someone's ear.

This is the picture I'll be posting for Week 1. We've had a very nice few days and this is how I want to remember the summer.

©Cristina Kollet 2011

Lesson of the Week--Knowing my Limits

I do plan on getting back to blogging about my San Francisco vacation. I have more memories and pictures to share about that amazing trip. But it's been a whirlwind since I got back and so I thought it a good idea to write about a lesson I learned this week — basically that sometimes, something's got to give.

There are two things I have learned from SCUBA diving and my first aid training (also related to diving) that I try to carry into every day life:

• A diver can cancel on a dive for any reason and it's fine.
• The first rule of rescue is that the rescuer take care of herself.

Both lessons came into play this week.

I came back from vacation to a series of deadlines at the day job, numerous wedding ceremonies to write/update/officiate, a social media course to update and teach again and EMT-B training. Believe it or not, the EMT-B training was to my recreational activity. It's not that I wasn't going to take it seriously--I take it very seriously and I was thrilled for a chance to expand on the skills I have acquired as an Emergency First Responder and EFR Instructor.

But the EMT-B course was also to be something I would do with my husband. We tend to spend all summer running around in opposite directions--he to his SCUBA students and me to my ceremonies. It's good to have some scheduled time where we're both engaged in something that gives us new things to talk about. EMT-B was going to be it for me. (For the Wookie, it's his first step to his goal of becoming a Hyperbaric EMT.)

I'll be the first to admit that I didn't know what the course would entail. I had the schedule. 2 nights a week from 6:45 to 10:00 PM. and some weekend days (either Saturday or Sunday) from 8:00 AM to 4:00 PM.  Magically the weekend dates fit into my schedule, as did all but one class and I could make that up by attending a later section. Perfect.

What I didn't anticipate working into my schedule were these.