A New Year, A New Way

My first New Years Eve with Wookie was a cold night in 2003,standing on the New Jersey side of the Hudson River with a couple of cups of hot chocolate. The skies over the Hudson were quiet. And at midnight when the ball dropped in Times Square, I was shocked to find that I could hear the cheers of the city erupt with the new year.

It was magical and as fireworks lit the sky, I told Wookie I loved him too. (He'd been saying it since our first date, a week before on Christmas.)

This became our New Years Eve ritual for our first eight years together. Standing near that spot, on some very cold nights, waiting for the ball to drop, reflecting on our year and looking toward the future.

Over the years it became harder to hear the cheers. The night sky has become a buzz with low-flying helicopters. The skyline has changed. And our reflections have changed as well. We've had a few rough years and our conversations, as we've looked out over the black waters of the Hudson have turned to tales of survival.

We watched the fireworks saying "screw you Twenty-(Ten/ Eleven)! We survived!"  We faced the new year battle-scarred, exhausted, and more uncertain that hopeful.

Twenty-twelve was a hard year as well. We had our high points and triumphs, but we are not anywhere near where we'd like to be,

As much as I loved that we had created a holiday tradition for ourselves, I felt that to welcome the new year in the same way would be to invite more of the same. It was time for a change.

Yesterday was an amazing day.

It started with lunch with my college roommate Aimee. We had not seen each other since graduation—twenty years ago. Looking across the table at the diner was like looking back in time, except I had Wookie sitting next to me.

Aimee and I picked up where left off. Twenty years wiser, and with families and careers of our own. Two adults, but certainly not "grown-ups"—which I am certain is something we swore never to become. So one college goal well met!

After a very fun lunch and promises to see Aimee again soon, Wookie and I set off for our next stop—my last wedding of 2012.

Patricia and Larry had been together for 45 years and were finally tying the knot in an intimate ceremony at the Grounds for Sculpture in Hamilton, NJ at The Rat's restaurant. As we gathered and got ready, I heard them say that we were actually at the site of their first date. That just made the celebration more magical.

It's hard to beat a wedding where the groom breaks out into a dance after he kisses his bride. That kind of joy is why I love being a Life-Cycle Celebrant. Wookie was by my side, and sharing that moment made it all the more special for me.

We had one more stop for the night. Instead of our usual celebration alone, Wookie and I would celebrate with friends. We continued our southerly trek through New Jersey to meet friends Rich and Debbie.

I'd never been to Atlantic City, though I'd flown over it many times. Debbie and Rich had a fabulous night planned for us. We started with a buffet at one of the casinos. Wookie and I often have very different food preferences and this place had us both very happy.

Rich has his own buffet rules. I think he summed it up as "all protein, no salad, no veggies." But I couldn't resist laying some gorgeous baby carrots (real ones with a little bit of the tops still on) and a few fingerling potatoes next to the lovely lobster I chose for my first course. When I met Wookie back at the table, he had chosen some beef medallions, that were tender enough to cut with butter knife.

Sitting across from Debbie and Rich, we had a great time. Our troubles forgotten for the night. I worked my way through two lobsters and a small bowl of duck soup (which I highly recommend!) before moving to the amazing deserts. There was chocolate mousse served in the delicate petals of a chocolate tulip—so thin that the heat of my hand holding the plate started the chocolate melting. But I really loved the tiny chocolate cup-cake with icing that I think was infused with rose essence.

I had such a good time, I didn't even stop to take pictures!

As a food coma descended across the table, we made our move for the boardwalk. Wookie and I haven't been on many double dates. I loved walking down the boardwalk, two couples, chatting and people watching.

Rich promised us good people watching and AC certainly delivers! The four of us were fairly well bundled up. I wore several layers against the winter chill, but everywhere were girls in dresses that covered about as much as my bathing suit—no coats, not even a scarf. It might have been an old fogy moment for me, but I can't remember being so impervious to cold when I was young. Though someone in our group theorized that the mass quantities of alcohol in their blood might be acting as anti-freeze.

Midnight came—celebrated prematurely by some people around us and a little late by others. At Wookie's request, we met the new year outside, looking this time out toward the dark waters of the Atlantic. We compared cell phones with Rich and Debbie. When both phones agreed it was midnight, we wished each other a happy new year!

I kissed my Wookie and as he wrapped his arms around me, I greeted the new year with hope.

This morning I learned of an African proverb, "If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."

Wookie and I will go far, accompanied by good friends.

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope your 2013 is full of good friends, good health, joy, prosperity, and love.

Getting Crafty

Sometimes necessity is the mother of craftiness--or a damn good excuse to break out the beads and fabric!

The last couple of weeks were very busy but created opportunities for me to make some things that have been on my list for a while.

Drink markers:


My friend and her husband recently moved in to a new apartment. Her housewarming (or "apartment heating" as they called it) was the perfect occasion for me to make these drink markers as a housewarming gift.

The rings are meant to go around the stems of wine glasses so you know which one is yours.

The rings are cut from a coil of sterling silver wire. I bent the ends to form a hook and loop closure.  The beads are metal, glass, and stone.

Covered Ceremony Book


I've used the same half-sized Avery binder for most of the ceremonies I've done in my 5+ years as a Life-Cycle Celebrant®. In fact the same sheet of  paper has decorated the cover for most of that time.

I noticed before my my most recent wedding that my book was starting to show it's age. I'm trying to polish my professional image a bit. I plan on  redoing my website. I just started revamping my ceremony wardrobe. So I knew the book needed to be dealt with. I have another one, but there is something wonderful about knowing all the couples I've married and babies I've welcomed all from that one book.

I decided to make a cover. I have lots of fabric samples. I folded one the same way I used to fold paper shopping bags to make book covers when I was kid. Instead of taping it, as I would have a paper cover, I hand sewed the cover onto the book.

This cover has pockets inside for my phone and reading glasses. Next time I make one, I'll take pictures of the work in progress. I have a larger book that I use for ceremony readings and for funerals--where I have podium and don't have to hold the book up. I'll be covering that too.

80s Pupil

So, today I was packing for my road trip. Have I mentioned how much packing for a trip stresses me out? It’s easier to move entirely. That way I have everything I need with me. So of course, on the day when I am supposed to finish packing and prep for a wedding, there is unscheduled drama.

Some Background

The eye in question.
(Taken a few weeks ago.)

I’ve been having issues with my right eye. It started with a tiny tare of the cornea, which was treated and healed quick enough. After that, it was a plugged up tear duct. (Did you know that’s actually where tears drain to and not where they come from? I didn’t.)

So that’s been getting better. Only a little irritation now and again, which is why I put a few drops of Visine in my eye this morning. I thought maybe I had a cat hair or something in my eye and I wanted to flush it out.

The Drama

So I’ve been staring at my eye every time I pass a mirror for 2 months through all these little problems. I had looked several times this morning with nothing much to notice till around 1:30.

My right pupil was dilated and the left was…not. I said to Paul, “I have a problem!”

I’m trained in first aid. I’ve had a few weeks of EMT training—I didn’t finish but I know enough to be worried when I see something like this.

I called the Eye Doctor to see if I should go to them or the ER. They said I could come in. Wookie ran a quick neurological exam before we got into the car.

My EMT Wookie is my hero. He was amazingly calm gathering up my eye drops and getting the car—all the while deciding which hospital I should go to if needed, who has a fully staffed MRI, etc.

It's good to have your own EMT on hand.
Here he is at his graduation.

On the way, I emailed my Saturday wedding ceremony to two of my colleagues with a note that I might have an “emergency” and they would be contacted if needed.  I was worried.

At the eye doctor, Wookie sat next to me and distracted me while I waited. He made me laugh and let me whine a little about how this was not what I wanted just before my trip.

They called me in. The tech asked about eye drops and said that sometimes eye drops have weird effects.  She did an exam and then left to get the doctor.

Wookie and I waited. Maybe feeling a little better, but not saying what we were worried about.

Finally the doctor came in and looked me over again. He said there were three possibilities. Wookie may remember the first two. (It’s good to have someone with you at the doctor’s office—someone to remember the things your own emotions block out.)

He said it wasn’t the first thing—I remember him saying ganglia, and nerves and palsy. (I love the word ganglia! It sounds fun, stringy and not at all scary.)

He said it wasn’t the second thing, an aneurism—The word my mind had been searching for when I saw my eye…the word Wookie had been biting his tongue on while he made contingency plans, plotted routes to the hospital in his mind and probably rehearsed what he’d says when he brought me in.

The doctor said it was most likely 80s Pupil.

That’s what I heard, at least. He explained the test for it—diluted drops of some stuff that would not affect my pupil if the dilation were caused by options one or two.

He put the drops in my eye and asked if I had any questions before he stepped out. I asked him to spell 80s so I could Google it. He said Adies. Here is what I found out.

When the doctor came back, he said I shouldn’t go nuts with Google. Wookie and I both laughed and said it was too late. (I have to wonder if it’s a physician’s nightmare, knowing that your patients can look up the medical terms they spout out in the time it takes them to stick their head out of the door and order up a test.)

So here I am, with a weird neurological thing that may occasionally make me look like I have a head injury—but is really nothing to worry about. Just what I needed. Though I am grateful that it was not any of the scarier alternatives.

©Cristina Kollet 2011

Wookie and I joked around, but I know both of us were worried. This is all just one more reason I need a break.

Excuses, Excuses

So I’m finally packed. I had a bunch of other errands to run today, which I will squeeze in tomorrow.

I was supposed to send an email out today and Wookie reminded me about it. I said it had totally slipped my mind and this was his response.

“Oh, the whole I may have had an aneurism excuse. Biggles used that last week.”