My Latest Creation:Byzantine & Beads Bracelet

I made this as a birthday gift for my sister. Glad to see my new chain maille skills are coming in handy.

I Met The Bloggess (Pt 2) #Furiously Happy

This was my Facebook status a few days ago...

Anyone who knows me knows that I can't leave the house without a lot of stuff. And the amount of stuff I need to carry tends to be in direct proportion to the amount of stress I am or have recently been under.

Between not knowing what is going to happen with the house, starting a new job, having a load of Celebrant work to do, and coming to NYC this week (I am not comfortable in city environments), this is what I needed to bring with me to the Blog World Expo today.

Now many people have benefited from "the bag" in all it's forms over the years. My sister likes to play "What's not in Crissy's purse." Over the years. I have pulled out such things as electrical tape, safety pins, USB cables, hair clips... the list goes on.

Today was a milestone for the Bag. I had a chance to see Jenny Lawson,  The Bloggess, again. Yesterday, I had her sign my friend Cindy's book. (Read Cindy's blog, she's also very funny!)   Today I asked The Bloggess to sign mine, but they didn't have pens out for her yet. So, from the bag, I produced a black Sharpie, which I gave her.

So now my bag has come to the aid of a personal hero of mine and I am (as she says) furiously happy!

I hope to write more about this week later when I am caught up with work and better rested. Suffice to say I have had a good time and I'm thrilled to have a signed copy of her book, Let's Pretend This Never Happened--which you should all read because it is HILARIOUS!

I Met The Bloggess!

It is always nice when you get to meet someone you admire and they turn out to be every bit as nice and funny as the seem online.

I Always Wondered What They Do There...

Next door to TheBloggess book signing in Montclair.

In Which I Remember to Think First

I can be a bit reactionary. 

This is especially true when I am tired or not feeling well (as I am today) and my reactions often works in phases of worry>suspicion> righteous indignation> (return to start and repeat).  Which is why today I give myself a gold star for how I ultimately dealt with the three seemingly random text messages I received this morning--all some variation on "My prayers are with you today." 

Reaction 1: Worry

Given recent events my first thoughts were," Shit! What happened now?" I wondered, was someone hurt? Who died?

As I steeled myself to face one more horrible thing, I woke up enough to remember that people don't just text in those situations.

I stared at my phone again. No missed calls. No voice messages threatening to reveal some new doom.

I went back to the text messages again. Was it a wrong number? But there were three of them, all from different numbers.

Now, my "worry response" to perceived emergencies is to go into rescue mode. But finding nothing that needed helping/fixing/or saving, I moved into

Reaction 2: Suspicion

My next thought was that this must be some kind of scam, but as far as I could tell none of the messages included a link, so how would such a scam work?

I took a moment to Google text messaging scams. I didn't see anything of relevance.

Maybe it was something else? All three messages had the same theme. Was this some massive organized attempt at proselytizing via text message?

I moved quickly towards

Reaction 3: Righteous Indignation

I realized it was Good Friday and my theory became more plausible.

I thought, "Do they expect that you will react and send a response--thus setting yourself up for an endless text conversation about how God loves you and you should join their church? "

Now I was getting pissed. Nothing raises my hackles like the arrogance of people who think I (or anyone else) need to be saved from my own spiritual beliefs.

I considered tweeting and posting on FB to see if anyone else had encountered this phenomena. In the back of my mind an angry blog post was already being composed.

It was at about that point when put the brakes on.  Indulging in angry emails and posts usually lead to trouble. I have a system of self-imposed waiting periods specifically for situations like this. 

It was time to take a step back. 

I looked back at the text messages again. One was signed by a familiar name--but a common one. I decided, to Google the phone numbers. Two were unfamiliar but my search showed the numbers were local. The third, the one that was signed, was not local, but after scrolling down through the search results, I came upon a last name to go with the familiar first--a friend of my friend who was in the hospital.

That friend had sent the first text message of the day saying her surgery had been postponed and would we route for [her] Yankees as she would miss the game.

Now it all made sense. These texts were in response to her text--which I had not noticed went to a group--my response probably went out to everyone as well. --Which probably means that amidst all of those heartfelt texts that have now circulated amongst my friend's friends, everyone has probably had a moment who wonder who sent this message:

Good Luck! (Go Yankees!)

Ending Radio Silence

I haven't written in a while. The last few weeks have been a roller coaster and I have been stuck about how to write about it and how much to say. I've also been very busy living it.

I had one great week where I booked several weddings for 2012. It was an amazing week and I was giddy with success.

The next week we found out that we don't qualify for refinance. While there are some things left to be done—so we don't have a time frame yet—we know we're losing the house. So that really killed the mood.

The first thing I did was send an email to immediate family. It was an announcement and a request. I listed things that would be helpful to hear and things we didn't need to hear. After that, I spread the word on Facebook and via email to more friends. It's nerve-wracking to admit to the world that you're in trouble—that your best efforts to keep your head above water have not been enough. Having got the word out and received a response, I can say that while we face some uncertainty, we have a lot of support.

Over the next two weeks, I was called about three potential jobs.  I had two interviews for one, but have not been called back. That's alright though, I don't think we're a great match.

All of this lead me to some reflection. Wookie and I talked about success and failure. I've never measured success in terms of money. Losing my full-time job last year didn't impact my self-image that much because it was just what I did for money.  Don't get me wrong, I take pride in my work as an editor and technical writer. I do a fantastic job for my business writing clients* and they have always been happy with my work.  But my real calling will always be Celebrancy and teaching. The business writing doesn't touch lives the way Celebrancy and teaching my Celebrant students does.  

*I consider full-time employers clients too.

The knowledge that we will be losing the house though, caused me to call some things into question. I know we're not alone. There are people who are much worse off than us. But I found myself in a dark moment where I had to wonder if my definition of success could handle the material realities of what many would define as failure.

I have to say I am definitely married to the right man for me. Wookie defines success as I do—in lives touched. While we've both struggled to make a living in this economy, he's never stopped helping people. Right now he's the training officer for a volunteer search and rescue dive squad, and while he looks for a job as an EMT, he keeps taking courses, training, learning more. We've both lost count of the number of people he's helped along the way.

Wookie reminded me that we share the same view of what's important. He told me about his Dad and his uncles–how he learned from them the value of making an impact on someone's life and how there is more to the world than one's net worth.–We especially talked about his uncle Des, who I had the pleasure to meet on just a few occasions and who was, maybe one of the sweetest people ever.

Last week Des passed away. We knew it was coming, he'd been ill for some time, but it's still sad. Here was a man whose love for his wife Margaret will always be a model for me. Even as Alzheimer's stripped the world away one memory at a time he held on to her. What an amazing love.

And so, I have perspective again. It may seem that the world is crashing down on our ears. I look at our not very neat house and try to wrap my head around packing while Wookie looks for a place for us and the cats to live. I worry about the practical things and getting it all done while tending to my Celebrant students, and my clients, and everything else. But at the end of the day, wherever we wind up, I know we'll be together, doing what we do. And that's what really matters.

Conversations With Wookie

2 minutes ago...

Me: Studied Shakespear for four years and I still can't spell Renaissance

Wookie: If you wanted to spell Renaissance, you should have studied history!

Renaissance Wedding Revisted

    

Cupboard Love

The Wookie and I have been very busy this week so our Valentine's Day activities have been stretched out over the course of several days.

Here is Wookie's latest expression of love. He was down with the dive squad near a deli that makes a sandwich I love so he brought me one last night.

It has horseradish cheese and dressing! I can feel the last vestiges of my most recent cold running in fear of its spiciness.

Why the World Needs Editors

Part of my work as an editor over the years has been content editing.  I would look for items that could be misconstrued or were unfortunately placed and make changes to avoid possibly embarassing situations for the author or publisher. One gem was a word problem in a sample math test that started with "If you had two blue balls..." 

I think businesses should hire content editors too. They need someone who will do a walk-through, looking at all the signs and logos and the context in which they are displayed. 

Tonight I found myself grabbing a quick bite at a well known fast-food chain. I knew it was not my healthiest meal choice and I was furthur reminded by this sign on display over a counter next to where customers pick up their orders.

Note to self: Eat more salad.

I'm sure some marketing department thought this sign would make customers think "I could go for an energy drink right now." Instead, I looked at my meal and thought, "Eat enough of this and I’ll need a de-fib...but not that kind."


PS:
One of my favorite bloggers, Jenny Lawson (A.K.A. The Bloggess) posted a picture today that supports my thesis. This store also needs an edit. 


(For the record, I would not, could not with a fox...)

My Latest Creation

I love Cats Necklace by Lifeat30Feet

The Coupon Thing

For the last few weekends, my Sundays have revolved around coupons. Now, I’ll never be up to the level of those folks on shows like Extreme Couponing. I don’t have 40 hours a week to devote to this, or dozens of people sending me their coupon inserts. I use a stack of envelopes to keep it all sorted and I don’t have a massive spreadsheet to track it all. BUT, last week I managed to spend $140 on groceries and get $80 worth of that for free. So, it’s proved to be a worthwhile pursuit.

My system is simple. On Sunday, I buy two copies each of several papers. (I am still working out which ones have the good coupons. I have noticed that they all don’t carry the same coupons.) I cut the coupons we are likely to use. Even for brands we don’t normally buy—because if it is free or deeply discounted, I might try another brand over our usual.

Coupons get sorted and go into envelopes that are loosely organized by category like Dairy, Frozen, Meat, etc. As I put new coupons in, I sort through the contents of the envelope. Expired coupons get tossed and soon to expire coupons get clipped to the outside of the envelope. This also lets me see what I have coupons for and I tend to remember them when I go through the weekly circular to make my BUY list…More on that later.

What I Clip

My ongoing debate between going eco-friendly with chores or leaning on convenient products is often exacerbated by coupons. Eco-friendly does not win as much as I would like when I shop, but I will continue to work on that.

Brand loyalty gets questioned more when I am using coupons. I start asking myself if I buy one brand over the other because I am used to that brand or because I actually like that brand better. For example, I won’t choose Pepsi over Coke—even if they are giving it away, because saving money on something I won’t use is more wasteful than buying something at full price and actually consuming it.

On the flip side, I use a lot of jarred pasta sauce and have tried a few new brands when I have coupons AND they are on sale because my brand loyalty was mainly about laziness and buying what I knew.

I try to avoid clipping coupons for things we should not be eating. I allow for a few treats, but try not to introduce any new junk into our diet. I know I have to be careful about not letting coupons influence me to buy what we don’t need just because it’s a bargain. There are always temptations in the coupons. This week it was frozen White Castle Hamburgers—something that looks tasty but also something we really shouldn’t be eating. So I keep thinking of that Monty Python routine where the ladies are having tea. There is an engine on the table and the one woman asks the other, “Why did you buy that?” and the other woman answers, “It was a bargain!”

It’s good to remember that companies don’t put out coupons to do us favor in these hard times. They issue coupons to get us to buy things we would not normally buy.

This is not to say that I don’t clip some coupons for things we don’t need. I have an envelope in my coupon box labeled “Karma Coupons” In the envelope are coupons for diapers, dog food, and sanitary products that I don’t use—items that may be an expensive necessity to someone else. Those coupons are for leaving on the shelf as we shop. More than once, I’ve had a stranger hand me a coupon for something I was looking at—most recently, cat litter. So I think it’s a good idea to pay it forward.

We’ve been off credit cards for a long time out of necessity, but once we get our financial world back in order (and the couponing is a step in that direction) the rule will still be cash only when shopping for food. There is no point saving money if you lose that savings in credit card interest.

Two Lists

When I shop, I have two lists. The BUY list is the list of things I have gone to get. This list is based on things we’ve run out of and also the weekly circular. For items from the circular, I have the item, the sale price and whether or not I have a coupon. Our store lets you go online and make a list by clicking on the items in the circular. I print that list and add notes as to what coupons I have.

Sometimes I have to have two sets of coupons and break the order into two purchases. I try to organize the BUY list according to the aisles in the store to avoid doubling back. Things get crossed off the BUY list if it turns out I don’t have a coupon and we really don’t need it.

Once I’m in the store, I cross off items on the BUY list as I go.

I do allow myself to go off the BUY list. Sometimes I forget to add something or I find that something is on sale that I missed in the circular AND I have a coupon. My BOUGHT list keeps me from going overboard.

My BOUGHT list is the list of everything that is in my cart and how much I expect to pay after sale and coupon. I write it all down as I shop and add it up as I go, so I know how much I am spending. (Remember it’s a cash purchase so I have to be careful not to go over what I can spend.)

I keep an envelop with the BOUGHT list. Coupons that I am using get clipped to the envelope. If I have to split the order, they get clipped in separate batches. My store doubles but the coupons are usually limited to one per purchase, so I find this is worth the effort.

Does all this take longer? Yes. Our major shopping trips are now more involved from planning through execution. BUT it’s worth it to save money while stocking our pantry as items come on sale and have long-shelf-life items like tea bags, pasta, canned or frozen veggies and soup on hand when we need them.

If nothing else, it gives us something with short-term, measurable results that help me feel like we’re going to get through this rough time. I can look at the product of our efforts—both in loaded pantry shelves and that number at the bottom of our receipt that says how much we saved and get a sense of accomplishment.

Out next step will be to do some comparison-shopping. The grocery chain we use has online shopping, so it’s relatively easy to check prices even if they aren’t in the sales circular. We’ll be checking those prices vs. the warehouse club we belong to and we’ll also check out Aldi.

It may be that shopping becomes even more complex, but if the time we put in is well compensated by dollars saved, we’ll stick with it.

Say No to SOPA and PIPA

You may have found some of your favorite sites to be blacked out today. This could be a regular occurrence if we're not careful.

I won't pretend to be the most tech-savvy person out there, but I am greatly concerned about the move by some to legislate censorship of the Internet. Some of the senators considering SOPA and PIPA have even admitted that they simply don't understand the technology involved. Yet they may vote to pass these bills into law anyway.

This is a matter of free speech and freedom of expression. The forces behind these bills, the companies behind the money that pays for the lobbyists that are pushing these measures, are out to control what speech, and images, and music can be freely distributed on the Internet. That is not the American way.

I hope you'll take the time to tell your government that this should not stand. While they may still be under the mistaken notion that companies are people, for the moment at least, companies can not vote. Tell your senators that you don't want the Internet censored (SOPA) or changes made that could undermine the security of the Internet (PIPA). And tell them that a vote in favor of these bills will cost them your vote come election time.

I and many others like me are thrilled to live in an age where our words and art can be put out there for the world to see. Let's not turn back the clock on what is amazing progress, I believe, for everyone.

For more information, here are a couple of videos you can watch. And at the bottom of this post, an easy way to call your senator and tell him or her that you don't want SOPA and PIPA and their job is to do the will of the voters, not the lobbyists.

Watch more on Tech Crunch here. 


Click here to call your Senator and tell him or her you don't want SOPA and PIPA made law.

Counts as Vegetables

The Wookie is training divers tonight so I am without my chef.

Wookie tends to be anti-vegetable, though he cooks them for me. So when he is away, my plate runneth red with tomato sauce. Tonight's pizza is covered with broccoli and spinach--and peperoni. (A little protein is a must!)

Add to that Mexican Coke--they say you can't taste the difference between real sugar and corn syrup, but I beg to differ.

It's all brain food for my work tonight as I review student assignments and contemplate more work on my Masters of Celebrancy project.

This Marriage Brought to You by a Fortune Cookie

For the last couple of weeks I have been telling you the story of how Wookie and I found each other and started our life together. Today is the anniversary of our proposal.

Wookie and I had been together for 17 days. And by together, I mean constantly. We took short breaks to go to our respective jobs. On weekends I went to the dive shop with Wookie. As far as we were concerned, we were still on our first date.

In our first week together, we had already established that we loved each other. Wookie said it first. I said it a week later. Life was good. We had settled into a weird kind of cohabitation that involved both our homes as we each had cats to feed.

After about two weeks together, I would occasionally catch Wookie muttering something.  When I asked what he said, he would say, “noting” or mutter something about “too soon.”

I had some fortune cookies stashed away,
but Wookie ate them before I could take a picture.

I let it pass. I was having too good a time.

January 11, found us back in the Manhattan dive shop where he worked. It was quiet day—not a customer to be seen. We ordered Chinese food for dinner. I don’t remember how I entertained myself that afternoon, I remember Wookie was reading a book and muttering. 

“We should get married!” I said. But Wookie was too busy muttering to himself to hear me. 

I went to pick up our dinner.

Dinner was a picnic, right out of the containers, with chopsticks and plastic forks, eating over the glass counter by the register. I reached into the bag our dinner had come in looking for the fortune cookies—there was only one. I gave it to Wookie.

The dive shop has long since closed, but if we were to find our way back, I could tell you exactly where he stood. I watched him crack open that cookie and read the fortune. Something went through his whole body—like a sigh but with more resolve.

“Can you come here?” he asked.

I came around the counter and he took my hands, sighing again.  This time he asked, “So, would you like to marry me, please?”

I know I said yes. I know I jumped up and down like a jackrabbit on speed. Then I said, “Are you kidding?” Actually, I asked several times.

He wasn’t kidding.

For weeks—almost as long has we’d been together—he’d been wanting to propose. All those mutterings of “too soon” were about asking me to marry him. Considering how I reacted to his first I love yous, I couldn’t blame him.

But what had changed?

The fortune cookie was the clincher.

ANY DECISION YOU MAKE TODAY WILL BE A GOOD ONE

I’d like to say it was a romantic evening after that. But the fortune cookie wasn’t the only surprise of the evening. That night we both had food poisoning. 

Still, nothing confirms true love like how your fiance reacts when you're doubled over with your body trying to turn itself inside out. We took good care of each other that night—and ever since.

Wedding Brought to You by Skype

Skype has become my new favorite business tool.


My last two wedding clients' both met with me via Skype rather than in person. For Karen and Wes, it was a matter of scheduling and convenience. Pamela and Scott live in Scotland, so an in-person meeting in advance of their trip to NY was impossible.

The video calls make it possible to for me to see my friend in Canada (sometimes daily), meet clients face-to-face regardless of where they live or what time it is in our respective time zones, and have conferences with my Celebrant students. It's like being on Star Trek--or sometimes Space Balls--I told you never to call me on this wall!

Yesterday, I was able to do something very special for my couple. The bride's mother was unable to make the trip to the states to attend the wedding. So I set up a Skype call and she was able to see everything online. It was a sweet moment when Pamela made her entrance and realized that her mom could see her. Every once in a while I'd glance over and see her on the screen of my tablet. After the ceremony, they took some time to chat. I was so happy to be able to make that happen for them.

I never cease to be amazed that these things are possible and accessible. Sometimes I wonder what will come next!

(See Pamela and Scott's Wedding Video.)

Here's Hoping for Good Things in 2012

Fireworks over Times Square in New York City welcome 2012

My New Years Story

Last week, I told you how Wookie and I met eight years ago on Christmas after about a week of emailing through Match.com. I mentioned that he told me that he loved me on that first date.

What I didn’t tell you is that three days later I yelled at him because he kept saying it and I thought it was a little creepy.

We’d been together almost constantly since we met—taking breaks only to go to work. As I said last week, I was not one to believe in love at first site. I was not used to someone being as attentive as Wookie was towards me. It all seemed too good to be true and, though I was happy, I was also waiting for the other shoe to drop.

For New Years Eve we decided to go out to the movies. We both love Steve Martin so we went to see Cheaper by the Dozen. That's when everything changed for me. Sitting in the dark, watching Wookie's face as he laughed, I knew...he was everthing he appeared to be. And I loved him too.

I LOVE how this man laughs!

Later that night, we stood huddled on the Jersey side of the Hudson River counting down to midnight. As the new year rolled in we could actually hear the cheers erupt from the crowd gathered in times square.

"I love you too." I told him.

We've welcomed every new year since, together.

Happy New Year everyone!

On Throwing in the Towel…Or Not

I think of 2011 as my crash and burn year. I lost my job and my momentum. Our house flooded...twice! After several years of go go go. I burned out. It was also a year of amazing adventures and success (just not financial success). I spoke at the Celebrant’s Collective Wisdom Conference and drove to Arizona, I tried my hand at pottery, became serious about blogging, and started taking my photography more seriously.

This has been a year of cognitive dissonance. The highs and lows of 2011 have been a roller coaster and I often felt as if I was leading two distinct lives with no middle ground. I need a change--actually Wookie and I both do.

I’ve started the last two years with resolutions and plans and failed miserably on most counts.

I’m taking a new tact this year and switching to hopes and goals. I feel that the looser frame actually leaves more room to define success and since we are in a bad place financially—and that does make for a lot of uncertainty, maybe we need to be open to an unexpected future.

After all, I never expected to be married, or a Life-Cycle Celebrant®, or a blogger. In fact, the biggest mistakes I’ve made in life have all revolved around giving up hope of something better and feeling resigned to life as it was at that moment.

I firmly believe that it’s best to always act as though what you want is possible—then you pay attention and prepare for that future. Giving up leads to stagnation and when opportunity presents itself, you’re unprepared. I admit I’ve lost sight of this ideal often enough as things have gotten harder and harder for us—but I have nothing to lose in choosing conscious optimism and plenty to lose by giving up.

So here I sit, nervous about the changes that I am sure 2012 is likely to bring, but hopeful that we will land on our feet, find a way to dig our way out of debt, and get back to a place of some security.

With that in mind, here are my personal hopes and goals for 2012:

• I hope Wookie and I find work.
  
  It may seem picky to also hope that we can do work we love, or that I find another job that lets me work from home, but I do hold those hopes as well.
  
  Wookie would love to get a [paying] job as an EMT and has been loading up on advanced courses since he completed his EMT-B. He also volunteers as the training officer for a SCUBA search and rescue squad. Everything he does is focused on teaching others or helping them in some way. For all he gives, I hope this year rewards him with the satisfaction of a steady paycheck.
  
  As for me, if I could work from home, it would leave more time for my Celebrant work—and that would mean more money to throw at our debt. I can do a lot with the time I would not be commuting. (My average commute over the years has been two to three hours a day—that’s a third of a work-day!) I also work better without the distractions of an office environment.
  
  
• My goal is to expand my Celebrancy practice. I started my zazzle shop in hopes of bringing in money for advertising. I will be updating my website as well. Realistically speaking, I will probably never be able to afford to retire outright. But I can be a Celebrant no matter what my age.
  
  
• My goal is also to market myself better for freelance work and full-time work. I’ve gained some new experience this year that can take me in new directions. I also need to remember that the work I was doing is valuable—people need the service I provide. With technology touching every aspect of our lives, people need help guides and instruction manuals. I just need to sell my service better.
  
  
• I hope we can keep our home—but if we can’t, I hope we land somewhere safe and comfortable. As long as we’re together and can take care of the cats, we’ll be fine.
  
  
• My goal is to get us better organized in terms of our home and our finances. I confess that things are a mess but if we work together we can figure it out. I just have to remember that if there are things we have to give up, we will be making room for the things we need and want.
  
  
• I still hope for us to have kids. I’m 41 and I have my fingers crossed that we still have time to make that happen.

• My goal is to take better care of myself and encourage Wookie to do the same. We’ve gotten caught up in our troubles and that makes it hard to focus on eating well and getting exercise. Wookie’s in better shape than I am, but we could both use some tuning up.

Of course, these are all personal goals revolving around my family.  I have wider hopes for the new year as well. So many of the people we love have had their lives touched by loss and illness. I hope for a year of good health and healing. And I know that there are people worse off financially than Wookie and I—I really hope the world gets its act together—that people start to see that focusing on the common good benefits them more in the long run than greed will.  (Okay, that may fall more into the category of dreams, but I can still hope for change.)

So as this year rolls out, I’ll open my heart and my arms in hopes for a better future for all of us. I try to remember that life is an adventure and that rather than throwing in the towel it’s better to always know where your towel is, because it might come in handy.

Get Ready for the New Year with My 2012 Calendars

I'll try not to be too obnoxious with updates about my Zazzle shop, but I am hoping it will provide enough income for me to get some more advertising for Inclusive Ceremonies.  So here's another plug.

I've added several products to the shop recently, but the most timely (pun intended) are the calendars.

These are compiled from some of my favorite photos and will look great hanging in your office or home--they also make good gifts!

San Francisco Up and Down 2012 Calendar

The Beauty of Trees 2012 Calendar

I've also added some note cards.

My Christmas Story

Eight years ago today, I met my Wookie.

About a week earlier, he had contacted me through Match.com--just when I had become disillusioned with it and was going to quit. We exchanged emails and pictures and stories of the civilizations that were evolving in our refrigerators. We theorized as to when they might develop nuclear technology and the possible consequences. My friend called every SCUBA shop in Manhattan till she found a guy with an Irish accent--she said he sounded cute. I was intrigued.

On Christmas Eve, he called me. I was driving home from work and our conversation lasted till I pulled up to my apartment. The whole time I was thinking, "Ask me what I'm doing tomorrow!" and "Ask me out!" Had he not gotten around to it, I probably would have asked him, but he did.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" He finally asked. I smiled. I had been rehearsing my answer in my head for miles. I detailed my plans--go to my sister's early in the morning for the Festival of Greed--basically, exchanging gifts and watching my baby niece open her presents. After that, I had no plans at all, as my family was heading in differing directions for the afternoon.

He asked me if I wanted to have dinner and I said yes.

Christmas morning flew by and soon I was on my way to meet him. However, no quest is without its obstacles. I followed his directions into town, only to find my way barred by a fire that had closed off my intended route. I called him to say I was having trouble getting there and he talked me through the maze of one-way streets to get me around the fire and to his house.

When I pulled up, he was standing outside, phone still in hand. I jumped out of the car and introduced myself and gave him a big hug. You can tell a lot about a person in the course of a hug and his was wonderful. To this day, it is one of my favorite things.

We went inside and I met his cats, Biggles and Rosie. I gave him a book, only to find out he already had it. I remember chatting for a while, then heading to a local Chinese buffet, because the restaurant he had planned to take me to was blocked by the fire.

That night he told me he loved me.

I don't think I believed in love at first site at the time, but here I am, 8 years later--and this is what I celebrate at Christmas, because back then, at 34, I didn't really believe I'd ever find anyone to share my life with. I had almost given up.

And that is the lesson that keeps me going today. To remember never to give up, because the best things happen quite unexpectedly--especially when I stay open to the possibilities. One day you think you'll wind up the crazy cat lady living in your sister's attic. The next day a handsome Irishman tells you he loves you--and it turns out to be true!

I'm still a crazy cat lady, mind you--but now I have a Wookie by my side.

So in this season when we celebrate light returning to the world--whether it's a divine light, the light of a miracle, or simply the lengthening of days--remember to keep open to the possibilities. You never know, the one thing you've wished for may just be waiting for you around the next bend.

Happy Holidays everyone. Thanks for reading.