The Coupon Thing

For the last few weekends, my Sundays have revolved around coupons. Now, I’ll never be up to the level of those folks on shows like Extreme Couponing. I don’t have 40 hours a week to devote to this, or dozens of people sending me their coupon inserts. I use a stack of envelopes to keep it all sorted and I don’t have a massive spreadsheet to track it all. BUT, last week I managed to spend $140 on groceries and get $80 worth of that for free. So, it’s proved to be a worthwhile pursuit.

My system is simple. On Sunday, I buy two copies each of several papers. (I am still working out which ones have the good coupons. I have noticed that they all don’t carry the same coupons.) I cut the coupons we are likely to use. Even for brands we don’t normally buy—because if it is free or deeply discounted, I might try another brand over our usual.

Coupons get sorted and go into envelopes that are loosely organized by category like Dairy, Frozen, Meat, etc. As I put new coupons in, I sort through the contents of the envelope. Expired coupons get tossed and soon to expire coupons get clipped to the outside of the envelope. This also lets me see what I have coupons for and I tend to remember them when I go through the weekly circular to make my BUY list…More on that later.

What I Clip

My ongoing debate between going eco-friendly with chores or leaning on convenient products is often exacerbated by coupons. Eco-friendly does not win as much as I would like when I shop, but I will continue to work on that.

Brand loyalty gets questioned more when I am using coupons. I start asking myself if I buy one brand over the other because I am used to that brand or because I actually like that brand better. For example, I won’t choose Pepsi over Coke—even if they are giving it away, because saving money on something I won’t use is more wasteful than buying something at full price and actually consuming it.

On the flip side, I use a lot of jarred pasta sauce and have tried a few new brands when I have coupons AND they are on sale because my brand loyalty was mainly about laziness and buying what I knew.

I try to avoid clipping coupons for things we should not be eating. I allow for a few treats, but try not to introduce any new junk into our diet. I know I have to be careful about not letting coupons influence me to buy what we don’t need just because it’s a bargain. There are always temptations in the coupons. This week it was frozen White Castle Hamburgers—something that looks tasty but also something we really shouldn’t be eating. So I keep thinking of that Monty Python routine where the ladies are having tea. There is an engine on the table and the one woman asks the other, “Why did you buy that?” and the other woman answers, “It was a bargain!”

It’s good to remember that companies don’t put out coupons to do us favor in these hard times. They issue coupons to get us to buy things we would not normally buy.

This is not to say that I don’t clip some coupons for things we don’t need. I have an envelope in my coupon box labeled “Karma Coupons” In the envelope are coupons for diapers, dog food, and sanitary products that I don’t use—items that may be an expensive necessity to someone else. Those coupons are for leaving on the shelf as we shop. More than once, I’ve had a stranger hand me a coupon for something I was looking at—most recently, cat litter. So I think it’s a good idea to pay it forward.

We’ve been off credit cards for a long time out of necessity, but once we get our financial world back in order (and the couponing is a step in that direction) the rule will still be cash only when shopping for food. There is no point saving money if you lose that savings in credit card interest.

Two Lists

When I shop, I have two lists. The BUY list is the list of things I have gone to get. This list is based on things we’ve run out of and also the weekly circular. For items from the circular, I have the item, the sale price and whether or not I have a coupon. Our store lets you go online and make a list by clicking on the items in the circular. I print that list and add notes as to what coupons I have.

Sometimes I have to have two sets of coupons and break the order into two purchases. I try to organize the BUY list according to the aisles in the store to avoid doubling back. Things get crossed off the BUY list if it turns out I don’t have a coupon and we really don’t need it.

Once I’m in the store, I cross off items on the BUY list as I go.

I do allow myself to go off the BUY list. Sometimes I forget to add something or I find that something is on sale that I missed in the circular AND I have a coupon. My BOUGHT list keeps me from going overboard.

My BOUGHT list is the list of everything that is in my cart and how much I expect to pay after sale and coupon. I write it all down as I shop and add it up as I go, so I know how much I am spending. (Remember it’s a cash purchase so I have to be careful not to go over what I can spend.)

I keep an envelop with the BOUGHT list. Coupons that I am using get clipped to the envelope. If I have to split the order, they get clipped in separate batches. My store doubles but the coupons are usually limited to one per purchase, so I find this is worth the effort.

Does all this take longer? Yes. Our major shopping trips are now more involved from planning through execution. BUT it’s worth it to save money while stocking our pantry as items come on sale and have long-shelf-life items like tea bags, pasta, canned or frozen veggies and soup on hand when we need them.

If nothing else, it gives us something with short-term, measurable results that help me feel like we’re going to get through this rough time. I can look at the product of our efforts—both in loaded pantry shelves and that number at the bottom of our receipt that says how much we saved and get a sense of accomplishment.

Out next step will be to do some comparison-shopping. The grocery chain we use has online shopping, so it’s relatively easy to check prices even if they aren’t in the sales circular. We’ll be checking those prices vs. the warehouse club we belong to and we’ll also check out Aldi.

It may be that shopping becomes even more complex, but if the time we put in is well compensated by dollars saved, we’ll stick with it.

Say No to SOPA and PIPA

You may have found some of your favorite sites to be blacked out today. This could be a regular occurrence if we're not careful.

I won't pretend to be the most tech-savvy person out there, but I am greatly concerned about the move by some to legislate censorship of the Internet. Some of the senators considering SOPA and PIPA have even admitted that they simply don't understand the technology involved. Yet they may vote to pass these bills into law anyway.

This is a matter of free speech and freedom of expression. The forces behind these bills, the companies behind the money that pays for the lobbyists that are pushing these measures, are out to control what speech, and images, and music can be freely distributed on the Internet. That is not the American way.

I hope you'll take the time to tell your government that this should not stand. While they may still be under the mistaken notion that companies are people, for the moment at least, companies can not vote. Tell your senators that you don't want the Internet censored (SOPA) or changes made that could undermine the security of the Internet (PIPA). And tell them that a vote in favor of these bills will cost them your vote come election time.

I and many others like me are thrilled to live in an age where our words and art can be put out there for the world to see. Let's not turn back the clock on what is amazing progress, I believe, for everyone.

For more information, here are a couple of videos you can watch. And at the bottom of this post, an easy way to call your senator and tell him or her that you don't want SOPA and PIPA and their job is to do the will of the voters, not the lobbyists.

Watch more on Tech Crunch here. 


Click here to call your Senator and tell him or her you don't want SOPA and PIPA made law.

Counts as Vegetables

The Wookie is training divers tonight so I am without my chef.

Wookie tends to be anti-vegetable, though he cooks them for me. So when he is away, my plate runneth red with tomato sauce. Tonight's pizza is covered with broccoli and spinach--and peperoni. (A little protein is a must!)

Add to that Mexican Coke--they say you can't taste the difference between real sugar and corn syrup, but I beg to differ.

It's all brain food for my work tonight as I review student assignments and contemplate more work on my Masters of Celebrancy project.

This Marriage Brought to You by a Fortune Cookie

For the last couple of weeks I have been telling you the story of how Wookie and I found each other and started our life together. Today is the anniversary of our proposal.

Wookie and I had been together for 17 days. And by together, I mean constantly. We took short breaks to go to our respective jobs. On weekends I went to the dive shop with Wookie. As far as we were concerned, we were still on our first date.

In our first week together, we had already established that we loved each other. Wookie said it first. I said it a week later. Life was good. We had settled into a weird kind of cohabitation that involved both our homes as we each had cats to feed.

After about two weeks together, I would occasionally catch Wookie muttering something.  When I asked what he said, he would say, “noting” or mutter something about “too soon.”

I had some fortune cookies stashed away,
but Wookie ate them before I could take a picture.

I let it pass. I was having too good a time.

January 11, found us back in the Manhattan dive shop where he worked. It was quiet day—not a customer to be seen. We ordered Chinese food for dinner. I don’t remember how I entertained myself that afternoon, I remember Wookie was reading a book and muttering. 

“We should get married!” I said. But Wookie was too busy muttering to himself to hear me. 

I went to pick up our dinner.

Dinner was a picnic, right out of the containers, with chopsticks and plastic forks, eating over the glass counter by the register. I reached into the bag our dinner had come in looking for the fortune cookies—there was only one. I gave it to Wookie.

The dive shop has long since closed, but if we were to find our way back, I could tell you exactly where he stood. I watched him crack open that cookie and read the fortune. Something went through his whole body—like a sigh but with more resolve.

“Can you come here?” he asked.

I came around the counter and he took my hands, sighing again.  This time he asked, “So, would you like to marry me, please?”

I know I said yes. I know I jumped up and down like a jackrabbit on speed. Then I said, “Are you kidding?” Actually, I asked several times.

He wasn’t kidding.

For weeks—almost as long has we’d been together—he’d been wanting to propose. All those mutterings of “too soon” were about asking me to marry him. Considering how I reacted to his first I love yous, I couldn’t blame him.

But what had changed?

The fortune cookie was the clincher.

ANY DECISION YOU MAKE TODAY WILL BE A GOOD ONE

I’d like to say it was a romantic evening after that. But the fortune cookie wasn’t the only surprise of the evening. That night we both had food poisoning. 

Still, nothing confirms true love like how your fiance reacts when you're doubled over with your body trying to turn itself inside out. We took good care of each other that night—and ever since.

Wedding Brought to You by Skype

Skype has become my new favorite business tool.


My last two wedding clients' both met with me via Skype rather than in person. For Karen and Wes, it was a matter of scheduling and convenience. Pamela and Scott live in Scotland, so an in-person meeting in advance of their trip to NY was impossible.

The video calls make it possible to for me to see my friend in Canada (sometimes daily), meet clients face-to-face regardless of where they live or what time it is in our respective time zones, and have conferences with my Celebrant students. It's like being on Star Trek--or sometimes Space Balls--I told you never to call me on this wall!

Yesterday, I was able to do something very special for my couple. The bride's mother was unable to make the trip to the states to attend the wedding. So I set up a Skype call and she was able to see everything online. It was a sweet moment when Pamela made her entrance and realized that her mom could see her. Every once in a while I'd glance over and see her on the screen of my tablet. After the ceremony, they took some time to chat. I was so happy to be able to make that happen for them.

I never cease to be amazed that these things are possible and accessible. Sometimes I wonder what will come next!

(See Pamela and Scott's Wedding Video.)

Here's Hoping for Good Things in 2012

Fireworks over Times Square in New York City welcome 2012

My New Years Story

Last week, I told you how Wookie and I met eight years ago on Christmas after about a week of emailing through Match.com. I mentioned that he told me that he loved me on that first date.

What I didn’t tell you is that three days later I yelled at him because he kept saying it and I thought it was a little creepy.

We’d been together almost constantly since we met—taking breaks only to go to work. As I said last week, I was not one to believe in love at first site. I was not used to someone being as attentive as Wookie was towards me. It all seemed too good to be true and, though I was happy, I was also waiting for the other shoe to drop.

For New Years Eve we decided to go out to the movies. We both love Steve Martin so we went to see Cheaper by the Dozen. That's when everything changed for me. Sitting in the dark, watching Wookie's face as he laughed, I knew...he was everthing he appeared to be. And I loved him too.

I LOVE how this man laughs!

Later that night, we stood huddled on the Jersey side of the Hudson River counting down to midnight. As the new year rolled in we could actually hear the cheers erupt from the crowd gathered in times square.

"I love you too." I told him.

We've welcomed every new year since, together.

Happy New Year everyone!

On Throwing in the Towel…Or Not

I think of 2011 as my crash and burn year. I lost my job and my momentum. Our house flooded...twice! After several years of go go go. I burned out. It was also a year of amazing adventures and success (just not financial success). I spoke at the Celebrant’s Collective Wisdom Conference and drove to Arizona, I tried my hand at pottery, became serious about blogging, and started taking my photography more seriously.

This has been a year of cognitive dissonance. The highs and lows of 2011 have been a roller coaster and I often felt as if I was leading two distinct lives with no middle ground. I need a change--actually Wookie and I both do.

I’ve started the last two years with resolutions and plans and failed miserably on most counts.

I’m taking a new tact this year and switching to hopes and goals. I feel that the looser frame actually leaves more room to define success and since we are in a bad place financially—and that does make for a lot of uncertainty, maybe we need to be open to an unexpected future.

After all, I never expected to be married, or a Life-Cycle Celebrant®, or a blogger. In fact, the biggest mistakes I’ve made in life have all revolved around giving up hope of something better and feeling resigned to life as it was at that moment.

I firmly believe that it’s best to always act as though what you want is possible—then you pay attention and prepare for that future. Giving up leads to stagnation and when opportunity presents itself, you’re unprepared. I admit I’ve lost sight of this ideal often enough as things have gotten harder and harder for us—but I have nothing to lose in choosing conscious optimism and plenty to lose by giving up.

So here I sit, nervous about the changes that I am sure 2012 is likely to bring, but hopeful that we will land on our feet, find a way to dig our way out of debt, and get back to a place of some security.

With that in mind, here are my personal hopes and goals for 2012:

• I hope Wookie and I find work.
  
  It may seem picky to also hope that we can do work we love, or that I find another job that lets me work from home, but I do hold those hopes as well.
  
  Wookie would love to get a [paying] job as an EMT and has been loading up on advanced courses since he completed his EMT-B. He also volunteers as the training officer for a SCUBA search and rescue squad. Everything he does is focused on teaching others or helping them in some way. For all he gives, I hope this year rewards him with the satisfaction of a steady paycheck.
  
  As for me, if I could work from home, it would leave more time for my Celebrant work—and that would mean more money to throw at our debt. I can do a lot with the time I would not be commuting. (My average commute over the years has been two to three hours a day—that’s a third of a work-day!) I also work better without the distractions of an office environment.
  
  
• My goal is to expand my Celebrancy practice. I started my zazzle shop in hopes of bringing in money for advertising. I will be updating my website as well. Realistically speaking, I will probably never be able to afford to retire outright. But I can be a Celebrant no matter what my age.
  
  
• My goal is also to market myself better for freelance work and full-time work. I’ve gained some new experience this year that can take me in new directions. I also need to remember that the work I was doing is valuable—people need the service I provide. With technology touching every aspect of our lives, people need help guides and instruction manuals. I just need to sell my service better.
  
  
• I hope we can keep our home—but if we can’t, I hope we land somewhere safe and comfortable. As long as we’re together and can take care of the cats, we’ll be fine.
  
  
• My goal is to get us better organized in terms of our home and our finances. I confess that things are a mess but if we work together we can figure it out. I just have to remember that if there are things we have to give up, we will be making room for the things we need and want.
  
  
• I still hope for us to have kids. I’m 41 and I have my fingers crossed that we still have time to make that happen.

• My goal is to take better care of myself and encourage Wookie to do the same. We’ve gotten caught up in our troubles and that makes it hard to focus on eating well and getting exercise. Wookie’s in better shape than I am, but we could both use some tuning up.

Of course, these are all personal goals revolving around my family.  I have wider hopes for the new year as well. So many of the people we love have had their lives touched by loss and illness. I hope for a year of good health and healing. And I know that there are people worse off financially than Wookie and I—I really hope the world gets its act together—that people start to see that focusing on the common good benefits them more in the long run than greed will.  (Okay, that may fall more into the category of dreams, but I can still hope for change.)

So as this year rolls out, I’ll open my heart and my arms in hopes for a better future for all of us. I try to remember that life is an adventure and that rather than throwing in the towel it’s better to always know where your towel is, because it might come in handy.

Get Ready for the New Year with My 2012 Calendars

I'll try not to be too obnoxious with updates about my Zazzle shop, but I am hoping it will provide enough income for me to get some more advertising for Inclusive Ceremonies.  So here's another plug.

I've added several products to the shop recently, but the most timely (pun intended) are the calendars.

These are compiled from some of my favorite photos and will look great hanging in your office or home--they also make good gifts!

San Francisco Up and Down 2012 Calendar

The Beauty of Trees 2012 Calendar

I've also added some note cards.

My Christmas Story

Eight years ago today, I met my Wookie.

About a week earlier, he had contacted me through Match.com--just when I had become disillusioned with it and was going to quit. We exchanged emails and pictures and stories of the civilizations that were evolving in our refrigerators. We theorized as to when they might develop nuclear technology and the possible consequences. My friend called every SCUBA shop in Manhattan till she found a guy with an Irish accent--she said he sounded cute. I was intrigued.

On Christmas Eve, he called me. I was driving home from work and our conversation lasted till I pulled up to my apartment. The whole time I was thinking, "Ask me what I'm doing tomorrow!" and "Ask me out!" Had he not gotten around to it, I probably would have asked him, but he did.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" He finally asked. I smiled. I had been rehearsing my answer in my head for miles. I detailed my plans--go to my sister's early in the morning for the Festival of Greed--basically, exchanging gifts and watching my baby niece open her presents. After that, I had no plans at all, as my family was heading in differing directions for the afternoon.

He asked me if I wanted to have dinner and I said yes.

Christmas morning flew by and soon I was on my way to meet him. However, no quest is without its obstacles. I followed his directions into town, only to find my way barred by a fire that had closed off my intended route. I called him to say I was having trouble getting there and he talked me through the maze of one-way streets to get me around the fire and to his house.

When I pulled up, he was standing outside, phone still in hand. I jumped out of the car and introduced myself and gave him a big hug. You can tell a lot about a person in the course of a hug and his was wonderful. To this day, it is one of my favorite things.

We went inside and I met his cats, Biggles and Rosie. I gave him a book, only to find out he already had it. I remember chatting for a while, then heading to a local Chinese buffet, because the restaurant he had planned to take me to was blocked by the fire.

That night he told me he loved me.

I don't think I believed in love at first site at the time, but here I am, 8 years later--and this is what I celebrate at Christmas, because back then, at 34, I didn't really believe I'd ever find anyone to share my life with. I had almost given up.

And that is the lesson that keeps me going today. To remember never to give up, because the best things happen quite unexpectedly--especially when I stay open to the possibilities. One day you think you'll wind up the crazy cat lady living in your sister's attic. The next day a handsome Irishman tells you he loves you--and it turns out to be true!

I'm still a crazy cat lady, mind you--but now I have a Wookie by my side.

So in this season when we celebrate light returning to the world--whether it's a divine light, the light of a miracle, or simply the lengthening of days--remember to keep open to the possibilities. You never know, the one thing you've wished for may just be waiting for you around the next bend.

Happy Holidays everyone. Thanks for reading.

Cure for the Common Cold?

There is something magical about soup (or tea or hot chocolate...) from a mug I made myself. I've been feeling better since eating lunch from my latest creation. (Coincidence? Who cares?!)

I learned to do this at the NY/NJ Academy of Ceramic Art

I picked up my 15 pieces from pottery class last night. I will shoot them all (eventually) but I could not wait to use this one.

Corporate Cold

Day three of my cold.  I am whiny, contentious, and after all this coughing, I may be short a lung. Biggles and the other cats have been taking shifts keeping me warm and pinned under a Snuggie. Wookie bought me soup, lots of things to drink, and cold remedies.

The Pop Tarts are purely medicinal, I assure you.

The Big Picture

This is not a flag or the pattern for a patchwork quilt, it's a graphical representation of my hard drive.

Result from GrandPerspective 
(Thanks for the recommendation Brian!)

The big golden square is represents my iPhoto library. Many of the other sections are also photos.

I take a LOT of pictures. Years ago, before digital cameras were so accessible, I shot about 30 rolls of 35mm film on a single vacation. Since I went digital, I've been in photo taking heaven. At any given moment, I have between 3-5 cameras on my person. There are cameras in my phone, tablet, and laptop. I carry one or two small digital cameras with me everywhere.

And I very rarely delete anything.

I know people who cringe at my photo hoarding. "Why not edit some out?" is a frequently asked question, but I like to keep them all.* I reuse pictures in part or in whole all the time. Even a bad picture can often be cropped into something useful or interesting. I really prefer to use my own pictures whenever much as possible.

And it's not like the pictures are taking up room in photo albums and boxes--though I have plenty of those and should probably get to scanning them.

As long as there is external storage, I can take and keep as many pictures as I like. A one terabyte drive  holds years of photos in less physical space than a paperback book. So I think I can hoard photos a while longer.

*(I do often delete pictures that are very unflattering to the subject, but that usually happens on the camera.)

Holiday Fun

We received two beautiful ornaments from our family in Ireland.  They are so sparkly and fun and I had to share. We've gotten many ornaments over the years. Since the Tree is has become a constant fixture, we've been able to enjoy them year-round.

These pictures were just taken with my phone. I'll probably take more pictures later. I love the way the light plays off them and in two weeks 52 Weeks of Photos topic will be "sparkles and sparkling!"

I had a lot of fun shooting our ornaments last year with amazing results.

Blogging While Tired

An hour ago, I was sitting in a diner enjoying a late night desert and some lovely memories. Of course I had to blog about it.
After I posted, I realized I posted to my other blog by mistake. So here it is: Midnight in the Garden of Cherry Cheesecake.

New on Zazzle

Magical scenes of winter in miniature and sunset in the countryside...

Winter Scene 1

Winter Scene 2

Winter Scene 3

Country Sunset
Photo Print
Notecard

Country Sunset 2 Notecard

(Click the caption to view the product details.)

Mandatory Waiting Periods

Over the years, I have instituted some self-imposed waiting periods on certain activities. It's to keep me out of trouble.

Recently, when a friend was facing a decision, I created this chart to share some of that wisdom with her.

• Eat fries while they are hot
• Deliver Pizza
• Return call for job interview
• Send angry email or write angry blog post
• Marriage License (NY/NJ)
• Drastic Haircut
• Get name of girl/boyfriend tattooed as a sign of commitment 

http://cheezburger.com/View/5540892672

The Funny Thing Is...

It's the end of another very hard year and I've been feeling rather down. There is a lot of uncertainty ahead. We're still out of work. I could list the problems that result from that, but that is fodder for another post.

Wookie always reminds me that it could be worse. His ability to keep his eye on the positive amazes me. He was the inspiration behind my lastest pieces at ceramics class. 

I carved words into the bowls to remind me of the good things in life. The things we have and the things we need make us happy and make life worth living. 

The funny thing is that it never occured to me to list money among those words.

Hail to the Tree!

My tree has been up since 2009.

Sometimes we call it Hal (or whatever name comes to mind at the moment). Wookie refers to it as our boarder--though I can't remember it paying rent.

It makes me happy.

When 2010 rolled in and most people were taking down their trees, I decided it should stay. It's one of those things I thought of as a kid--when I'm grown up I'll be able to keep my tree up as long as I like--and you know what? I was right.

Last year, Christmas came and went again. Hal stayed his ground. I thought of taking it down over the summer but the holidays were only six months away and we'd only have to put it up again anway.

Over the last few years, the stresses and strains of adulthood have, more often than not, outweighed the advantages my childhood self expected a 'grown-up' would have. I'm sure it's the same for families everywhere dealing with unemployment, financial stress, and all that goes with it.

This tree has brightenend our home through some tough times. When our house flooded, not one drop of water touched it, even though it's in one of the rooms that saw that internal rain. This tree, in its enduring cheeriness stands as a constant reminder of the kind of fun I remember as a kid, that anticipation of good things to come and a countdown to a bright future.  It's also a reminder of one of the promises I made to myself as a child--that I might have to become an adult, but I would never be a 'grown-up.'

In fact, now that I think about it, maybe that's the one advantage to being an adult that too many of us neglect to exploit. As adults we can choose not to be grown-ups.

So I say, whatever your symbol of happiness, let it stand year' round. Keep your tree up! BBQ in your backyard in January! Wear white after Labor Day!  Find those little things that make you happy and keep doing them. Because the world can use all the happy it can get.

Because "Happy Holidays" is a NICE Thing to Say...

The whole "War on Christmas" thing really annoys me every year. It's divisive and I don't think the people who promote that idea really care about the spirit of the season at all. 

I live surrounded by a rich diversity of cultures and traditions. I like saying "Happy Holidays" because I think it's inclusive of everyone whether they celebrate Christmas or Yule, Festivus, Chanukah, or Kwanza, or (as Jon Stewart said) "end of the fiscal fourth quarter."

When I saw this vintage Santa on The Graphics Fairy, a number of things went through my head. "Aren't those kids freezing?" "Wait, is Santa on his way in or out?" 

I realized this scene was a great chance for Santa to say what's on my mind every year, so I made a card.  You can get it on Zazzle.

Cards by Lifeat30Feet ©2011 by Cristina Kollet

Original image courtesy of http://www.graphicsfairy.blogspot.com/

"Remember kids, saying 'Happy Holidays' just means that you are courteous enough to acknowledge the rich diversity of holidays being celebrated by all the peoples of the Earth at this festive time of year."

Peace and Joy to everyone from Lifeat30Feet!