Sunday, January 27, 2013

Zen and the Art of Toast


I incinerated my lunch...again.

This is a common occurrence. In fact, Wookie has more than once arrived home to find the still-smoking remnants of a melted cheese sandwich, bagel, or reheated pizza slice in the back yard.

Luckily, our toaster oven is right next to the kitchen window—making for easy disposal of burnt offerings before the kitchen fills with smoke.

While ours is a very old toaster oven (it was old when I brought it from my apartment nine years ago), the fault lies with me. The problem is that I lack the ability to be still and do nothing, and this greatly impacts my ability to make toast.
From the moment I push that button down, the time it takes to lightly toast a bagel stretches before me like an unproductive eternity. To distract myself, I find some way to fill the time, whether it's folding laundry, writing a blog post, or checking my email.

Inevitably, I become focused on that more interesting activity until that nagging feeling that I've forgotten something...or the smell of smoke...or Wookie's voice calling, "are you burning something?!" sends me rushing back to the kitchen.

This doesn't happen so much when I'm cooking on the stove-top. That's a more active endeavor—checking the flame, stirring, adding ingredients and tasting tend to be enough to keep my attention. Toast, on the other hand, is my nemesis.

I envy people who can be still. 

I often joke that the only time I'm not multi-tasking is when I'm underwater. There, amidst the fish and the sound of my own bubbles I manage to escape my need for more input. Of course, we always get breakfast out when we dive, so I don't have to worry about forgotten toast.

8 comments:

  1. Perhaps they need to invent a toaster that lets you play tetris while you're waiting for your toast to cook!

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    Replies
    1. Kellie, that might actually work! And it might be far simpler than a video sensor that checks the level of browning on my toast and texts my phone.

      By the way, I loved your post about the vampire baby dolls. Very funny!

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  2. This makes me feel much better, knowing I'm not the only toast impaired individual out there!

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    Replies
    1. Robyn,

      The situation has recently gotten worse. My twenty year old toaster oven has finally stopped working. I've been making toast in the oven--the opportunity to toss flaming bagels and English muffins in the sink has increased ten-fold.

      Delete
  3. This is why I never eat things that require toasting. My old roommate was worse. I let the apartment for all of 3 days and returned home to find one whole corner of the kitchen a blackened mess from the table to the ceiling.

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    Replies
    1. And there's nothing like the smell of burnt toast, is there. Hit's you right when you walk in the door.

      Thanks for reading!
      -Cris

      Delete
  4. I've learned to love toast where the burnt stuff is mostly scraped off.

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    Replies
    1. Me too, but scraping off the burnt stuff makes a heck of a mess!

      Delete

So, what do you think?

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